


Stitched Up

by StarlightSunshine



Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con References, Recovery, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-16 16:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightSunshine/pseuds/StarlightSunshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is horrified by what he finds in a dark alley, walking home from the diner one night. What exactly was Loki's punishment in Asgard, anyway?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so...all new fic! Hope you like! Warning for a bit of gore but not too much to handle hopefully, I own nothing blah blah blah.. this is my first work on AO3 but this has been posted other places too :P

Steve left the diner feeling happier than he had in a long time. He had been wandering through a new part of town, when he had found this old diner with a little old lady, Delia, who ran it. He'd settled in a booth, nostalgia washing over him as he thought of the Diner he frequented in Brooklyn , back before the serum made him a super soldier. He had been reading the menu, quietly wondering why he didn't go out to eat by himself more often, when Delia had come to take his order and promptly dropped her notepad, gushing about how she remembered watching one of the Captain America shows when she was younger. Steve had signed a napkin for her, and, when closing time came around, hung around for about an hour afterwards so they could sit and talk without Delia having to help other customers. It felt nice, having someone gush over him for something he did back in the day, before the Avengers. It reassured him that he actually accomplished something during that time, even when he just felt like a show character, the fact that he had inspired this woman, lifted her spirits during the dark times of war...it lit a new fire in his heart, that was for sure. 

So he left the diner elated, proud of his past and ready to face the next day, something he often didn't feel at night these days. It was dark, and it was dismal in this seedy part of town, but still he walked with a new spring in his step. He was just passing one of the darker, more foreboding alleyways when he heard it. It was a soft whimper, as though the person making the sound barely had a voice left. It was followed by light grunting, and heavy gasping. Steve turned towards the sound, hesitantly. He didn't have his shield, but he did have his super strength, just in case this turned out to be a trap. He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket -never used it, couldn't get the hang of all the buttons, but he was grateful he had it now, as a light source- and switched it on, directing the beam of light in front of him and towards the ground. He knew if someone was in that much pain, they would probably by floored by it by now. 

The light hit a solid mass, a person, and reflected off the pools of blood on the floor around them. Steve dropped to his knees, using the little light he had to find the head end of the person. They were wearing heavy black leather, a long leather coat it looked like and golden...hang on. Steve sucked in a breath. The clothes were vaguely familiar...in fact, they looked almost..Asgardian. With a sinking feel in his stomach, he grabbed the shoulder, what he thought was the shoulder anyway, of the person and rolled them to face him, stomach heaving as the face was revealed. Laying in front of him was none other than Loki Laufeyson, face white as a sheet, eyes open and glazed as they seemed to stare straight through Steve's head and to the wall behind him. A quick scan of the God showed multiple stab wounds to his thin body, one to the leg, one to the side, multiple lacerations on the face..but that wasn't what made Steve's mouth dry and his stomach churn. No, what did that was the thick gold thread holding Loki's lips together, blood dripping from between the threads. Steve felt his eyes harden. This was _torture._

As though sensing his anger, Loki's eyes snapped into focus on his face and he flinched, hard, scrambling back with what little strength he had left, until his back was pressed against the wall. His breath came in short, sharp gasps, almost hyperventilating, and a strangled cry wrenched itself from his lips at the sight of the Avenger, only to be repeated as this tore at the stitching over his mouth, causing more blood to stream down his face. Steve, startled by this adverse a reaction, lifted his hands as if to show his lack of weapons. He kept his hands clearly where Loki could see them, approaching him slowly, like you would a frightened deer. He spoke in hushed tones as he got closer, trying desparately not to scare the Trickster any more than he had already. 

"It's okay. I'm unarmed. I'm not going to hurt you, Loki, I want to help. Who did this to you?" Steve mentally facepalmed as he realized that Loki couldn't exactly answer him. He reached to the groud for his phone when he heard a sharp intake of breath from the frightened man against the wall. He held the phone in front of him, making sure he was far enough away that Loki wouldn't be afraid of attack from his hands, but close enough that he could see what he held. 

"It's okay, it's just a phone. I'm gonna call Tony to come and get us okay? He won't hurt you either. It's been almost two years since you attacked, Loki, you've done your time as far as I'm concerned." He gasped softly as his mind caught up with his mouth, and cringed when Loki flinched at the sound. "This was your punishment, wasn't it? In Asgard...they did this to you?" Steve asked with trepidation, heart sinking when it was answered by a timid nod, followed by a flinch, as though the God thought he would be struck for the admission. 

_Probably had that trained into him_ Steve thought darkly. He moved slowly, making sure Loki could see his every move as he dialled Stark Tower. 

"Hey, Tony? I kind of need your help. Can you come and pick me up?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony comes to pick Steve up in the alley, unaware of the other person with him. What will he have to say about our favourite Trickster God?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Hope you like this next chapter :D I still own nothing :P

Steve knelt down to lift Loki into his arms, but the God flinched violently at his approach, banging his head on the wall behind him. Steve held his hands up once more, moving very slowly close, explaining what he was doing as he went.

"We need to get you out of this alley, Tony's going to pick us up, and I don't think you can walk right now."

The God's eyes narrowed at that, and part of Steve was glad to see his pride was still her. He wasn't broken. The Trickster pushed off from the wall, standing up as best he could. Steve almost thought he could manage it, impressed, when he found himself darting forward as the God swayed dangerously on the spot, face drained of all colour.

"That's what I thought. Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you, Loki. I just want to help." Steve held his breath in wait, letting it out in one big huff as Loki lightly nodded his consent to being lifted. Steve swung the injured party into his arms, careful not to aggravate any injuries, grabbing his phone from the floor. He carried the deity out to the mouth of the alley, staying just in the shadows, aware of the panic the sight of them could cause to anyone walking past, even at this time of night. He breathed a sigh of relief when he noted the deep black sports car, one of Tony's less ostentatious machines, pulling up to the side of the road, the owner stepping out of the drivers side door.

"Have to say, Captain Spangles, you sure know how to pick your rendezvous points, I'll give you that. Nice place you picked here." The philanthropist teased, gesturing to the beaten down area in which they stood.

"Not in the mood, Tony."

Tony frowned, recognizing the tone of voice Steve was using. It was his serious superhero civilian saving voice, and it meant some serious shit was going down. "Steve, what is it? What did you need me to pick you up for? You said you needed my help..."

Steve bit his lip lightly, suddenly worried that Tony would reject Loki's need for help. Steve knew Tony was a good man, beneath all the sarcasm, but this was iLoki/i, the guy who thre Tony out of a Window. He sucked in a breath, steeling himself for the onslaught of questions he was sure to get, and moved aside, letting the light from the headlights of the car fall on the barely conscious deity leaning on the wall behind him.

"Steve...is that Loki? As in, God of mischief and lies, Loki? Take over the world Loki?" Tony moved forwards, almost subconsciously, to get a closer look, before he withdrew in horror from the sight of Loki's wounds. The God in question never took his eyes off of the billionaire, following his movements with fear deep in his eyes, moving back ever so slightly when Tony approached. "Someone did a real number on you, didn't they, Reindeer Games?" Tony breathed out, almost a whisper as his eyes shone with sympathy. He straightened up, turning to Steve.

"We should get him back to the tower. Now. I want to clean those wounds and see if there's anything we can do about the thread in his lips. Looks ordinary enough, but he is a God after all. I'm through judging by appearances. I could call in Bruce.." He looked at Loki out of the corner of his eye, prompting Steve to do the same as Loki flinched violently once more, cowering against the wall, hands trembling. "But something tells me that would only freak him out worse. I don't like the guy, Steve, but I'll help. This is torture. This is cruel and unusual and nobody deserves this. It makes me sick."

As Tony spoke, Steve could see the memories flit through his head, of his time being tortured in Afghanistan. It wasn't something Tony talked about often, but something they all knew. If there was one thing Tony couldn't condone, it was torture.

Steve put a hand on his shoulder, feeling a slight personal victory when it wasn't brushed off. He looked Tony in the eyes before moving to pick Loki up off of the ground once more, this time without protest. Tony moved round to the drivers side of the car, getting in and buckling up without comment, realizing quite how serious this situation was. In their own minds, most of the Avengers had pretty much forgiven Loki's crimes against Earth, especially when Clint had revealed his hypothesis about the Chitauri mind control. Clint told them how the bright blue shine in the Tricksters eyes had given away his own vulnerability to the power of the Tesseract, only confirmed when Thor told stories of Loki's love and kindness and spirit, mentioning his bright green eyes. There were still a few hard feelings towards the Trickster, mainly bruised ego's really, but not much. Seeing the once proud God looking so vulnerable and...well, broken...It put Tony on edge a little.

Steve lay Loki down in the back seat, leaving his jacket beneath the God's head as he sat in the front seat, mouth set in a tight frown as the car peeled away from the sidewalk, making it's way back to Stark tower. The ride was spent in silence, Tony and Steve not feeling comfortable talking about Loki with him there, and Loki being unable of making conversation. When they were just a few minutes from the Tower, Tony lifted his cell phone to his ear, ordering a few of his nameless employees to get a gurney into the lobby by the time he got there, or he would "fire their asses so hard they'd think they'd been fucked by the Hulk." Steve frowned at the use of explicit language, but said nothing. He knew it was a show of how worried Tony was, and he also knew it would get things done.

When they entered the lobby, the gurney was of course ready and waiting for them. Dismissing the anxious looking staff Tony had yelled at, they lay the God on the gurney, immediately wheeling him into the elevator and up to the higher levels, namely level 9, the infirmary. Once there, Tony moved as if to take Loki in his arms, to lift him onto the bed. Steve had to admit Tony took it in his stride when Loki made a frantic sound, almost falling off of the gurney to avoid being touched. Together, using a backboard, they transferred the timid God onto the softer hospital bed, Tony immediately setting to work pulling out disinfectant, and IV and a very sharp looking pair of scissors. He set to work cleaning and bandaging some of the lesser lacerations on Loki's body, stopping when he came to the stab wounds. Here, he hesistated, before reluctantly pulling from the cabinet a small, sharp needle with which to stitch up the gaping wound. Loki, sensing the hesitation, opened his eyes from where he shut them against the pain, homing in on the sight of the needle. His eyes widened, pupils dilating, his breath coming in short gasps through his mouth, tearing through his stitches. Blood poured afrash down his pale face as Steve fought to restrain him from moving backwards off of the bed, all the while trying to get Loki to hear his reassurances.

"Loki! Loki! It's okay, Tony's not going to hurt you, he's going to help you, but you need to calm down" Loki's eyes flit back and forth between the two men and the gleaming needle. Still shaking violently, Loki fought to control his breathing, closing his eyes as he gulped and nodded minutely, tears streaming down his face. As Tony numbed the area and set to work, Steve held one of the fragile hands in his own, rubbing soothing circles into the back of the God's hand.

When Tony finished, he thrust the needle and thread back in the drawer, looking glad to see the end of that particular task. Steve could see the relief in Loki's eyes, and felt it himself. He could understand being terrified of the needle. Steve himself still felt a nagging of fear when he encountered cold water, and what happened to him wasn't nearly as traumatic as what Loki had evidently been through. He felt Loki clench his hand harder as Tony picked up the scissors, ready to tackle the last hurdle. Loki looked at him timidly, as thought scared Steve would reject his silent plea for comfort. Steves response was to grip harder, letting the God know he was there for him, that he wouldn't leave him. He leaned in next to Loki's ear, ignoring the tremor it provoked, and whispered soft assurances in his ear as Tony began snipping through the stubborn threads holding his mouth together. Steve was honestly just overwhelmed with relief that they _could_ cut the darned things. Loki being from Asgard, he'd half expected the strings to be indestructible. This was obviously little comfort in Loki's mind though, as he whimpered and flinched at each cut string. Steve continued his mantra of encouragement.

"You're being so brave, Loki, really, you're doing amazingly. Just a few more, Loki, hold still for Tony and it'll all be over soon, I promise, it'll all be over soon and then you can eat and sleep and hey, you can even play a trick or two on Tony, make us all laugh."

Tony surprised him by pitching in there, and not even to argue. "Yeah, sure, or what's even better is we could all try and get one up on Thor, huh? Put pink hair dye in his shampoo or-" Tony let his point die out as fresh tears spilled forth at the mention of Thor, Loki's eyes closing against the onslaught of emotion. Steve filed that away to be brought up later, now was not the time.

Tony pulled the last string from its place in the Tricksters lips, the genius himself trembling a little as he put the bloodstained scissors on the surgical tray, taking off his gloves, which were caked in blood. He gently wiped the blood from around the Gods mouth with disinfectant to prevent infection, wincing at the pained whimpers it evoked. And then finally, his job was done. Loki's mouth was free.

"Loki? Better now, huh? Can you say something for us please?" Steve encouraged, just wanting to be assured that the deity in front of him could still speak.

He bit back his dissapointment when the Trickster shook his head quickly, eyes still shut as tears leaked from the corners of his eyelids.

Steve frowned, looking over to Tony, and, seeing the same expression on his face, knew they were wondering the same thing.

Was it a case of Loki being afraid to speak, or could he actually not?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony, with the help of one of their Avenger friends, try to get to the bottom of Loki's misfortune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this one! Usual disclaimer applies

"Open your mouth for me, please." 

Loki shrank back in fear as the doctor lifted a hand to rub his face. Bruce dropped the hand as quickly as he lifted it when he noticed the fear in his eyes. Tony and Steve had reluctantly come to the conclusion that they kind of needed Bruce here. Tony couldn't conduct a proper medical investigation like Bruce could, and Steve was pretty clueless. It helped that Bruce lived in the building most of the time anyway, so he wouldv'e found out about Loki eventually. 

"No, no, Loki, Bruce isn't gonna hurt you, he's just trying to help, okay? He's far better at this stuff than I am, so let him look, please?" Tony asked, allowing the tiniest hint of pleading to enter his voice as he rubbed calming circles in the Gods back. He didn't know what it was, but something about seeing the one proud Trickster looking so broken...it bought out his softer side. 

Loki took an audible gulp before leaning forward hesitantly, opening his mouth as wide as he could, tears threatening to spill forth from closed eyelids. He winced as his jaw widened, probably feeling sore and abused from being sewn shut for so long. 

Bruce carried out his examination as quickly as possible, examining Loki's tongue, and looking down the back of his throat for inflammation, anything really that would give them a hint if there were any physical reasoning behind Loki's silence. Finally, he sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose and nodding to Loki that he could close his mouth now. The God did just that, shrinking back on the bed, bending his legs to wrap his arms around his knees, head down as he took steadying breaths. Tony and Steve exchanged a concerned glance, turning to Bruce for the diagnosis. He gestured to them to talk in the hallway, not wanting Loki to be any more frightened than he already was. The two other Avengers reluctantly followed him out. 

"As far as I can see, he should be able to talk. It might be croaky, and it might hurt a little at first because he's been so long without using his voice, but he should definately be capable of talking to us. I just don't think he wants to."

Tony ran his hands through his hair. He kinda wished there had been a physical reason. He could do physical healing. Emotional....well, it wasn't his strong point. 

"So what do we do, Cap? Bruce? How're we gonna get him to talk again? I mean, much as I love silent Loki, even I know he can't stay this way forever."

Bruce rubbed his hands over his face again. He _really_ needed a vacation. "We talk to him. He might not talk back yet, but we can let him know we're here for him when he does. We deal with what we can, and hope nothing bad comes of it. He's not exactly in a state to hurt us right now, and I for one don't think he wants to. Something hurt him bad, and this is our chance to show him the benefits of getting along with the Good guys." 

Steve nodded, the leader in him coming out. "Bruce is right. We can't force him to talk to us, but we can show him he doesn't need to fear us. I don't know about you, but I'm willing to wipe his slate squeaky clean after this. He's been punished enough." 

Tony nodded, arms folded across his chest. He'd been tortured before, but what Loki had been through, to render him so afraid of touch and too afraid to talk...he shuddered just thinking about what could do that to a man, let alone a God as resilient as Loki had seemed to be. 

The three Avengers made their way back into the incresingly depressing hospital room, Bruce taking the lead, sitting in the lone chair next to the bed with his clipboard in hand. 

"Loki?" He waited until green eyes flashed to his face before looking down, never making direct eye contact. Steve bit his lip. "I'm just gonna ask you a few questions, okay? You can just nod or shake your head if you don't want to talk, and if you don't want to answer, or something is upsetting you, you can shake your head for that too, okay?" Bruce figured they should probably start off simple, if a little patronizing, just to warm Loki to them, and help him realize they were genuinely concerned for his welfare. 

A sharp nod indicated he could start asking questions. 

"Do you remember who we all are?" 

Nod. 

"Can you remember our names specifically, or at least our Avenger names?" 

Another nod. Good, that was definitely good. 

"Do you remember everything that happened last time we met?" 

A frown, and a less confident nod. Bruce let that rest, realizing it was probably due to the chitauri mind control used on him. 

"What happened to you...the injuries you arrived with...did you get those in Asgard?" 

A nod, followed by a few hitching breaths, Bruce gave him a minute to compose himself. 

"Does Thor know?" 

A flash of anger, and tears began rolling down his face as he gave a dejected nod. Tony, Steve and Bruce exchanged alarmed looks. If Thor knew about this, why didn't he stop it? Had something happened to him? Was that why the mention of him made Loki cry? Bruce knew he had to get some more information out of him, even if he did feel like a terrible person for pushing a little. 

"Did Odin make this your punishment?" 

Tony sucked in a startled breath as Loki's head bobbed forwards once more. Jeez, he knew his old man wasn't perfect, but come on, having your kids mouth _sewn shut?_

"That sick fuck" 

"Tony-" Steve adominished, but was cut off by a startled, shaky, breathy laugh from the injured party on the bed. Tony smiled, quelling the deep pit of rage he found welling up in his stomach. A laugh was better than nothing, right? Laughter showed they hadn't broken his spirit. Heck, that tiny bit of laughter was one great big finger in Odin's face as far as he was concerned. As the room went silent however, each of the three healthy men stunned into ailence, his face fell flat, all laughter cut short as he slid back further on the bed, pressing himself self-consciously into the pillows. Bruce cleared his throat. 

"OKay, Loki, I'm just gonna ask you to do one more thing for us, okay? Then we'll let you get some sleep, you look like you could use it." He said, taking note of the lines on the pale face, and the dark purple bags beneath the green eyes. Poor guy looked like he hadn't slept in _months_. But then again, if his face was in permanent agony because his father had ordered his lips be sewn shut, he probably wouldn't be able to sleep much either. No doubt Loki had been locked up somewhere with no means to cut the bindings on his lips, and probably some lovely abusive guards too. "Can you say something for us? Anything, just one word. Or not even that, maybe just a sound? I'd like to know your vocal cords are still working right, and I haven't missed anything. Even a little whisper would make me sleep a little easier tonight" Bruce bit his lip guiltily as the Trickster clenched his eyes closed, tears spilling forth from the corners again. it wasn't that he enjoyed pushing Loki, but if there was something wrong with his vocal chords, he would really rather know now. Loki raised his shaky head, eyes meeting Bruce's for a fleeting second before they met those of the others, and returned to his lap. He swallowed, clasping his hands together, knuckles white. 

"Stay" 

It was barely even a whisper, with a pleading inflection, almost a very quiet whimper really, but it was enough. He felt his shoulders relax a little more, and saw Steve and Tony exchange relieved glances, beaming away. 

"Who, Loki? All of us? Or anyone in particular? We don't mind, we're all willing to stay, right guys?" Steve piped up, gesturing to his team mates, who were both nodding their affirmations. Loki glanced around self consciously, mouth opening and closing slowly. "You can just point if you want, it's okay. You've done enough for us today, Loki." 

Loki let a long breath out, letting his hands lose the death grip they had on the sheets. He quickly made a general encapsulating gesture, showing that he wanted them all to stay. Steve leaned down to catch the one whispered word he did say as they all settled into seats, Tony dragging in a chair from outside, Bruce sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the white bed. That word had them all silently agreeing that they wouldn't be leaving Loki alone at all that night. 

"Safe."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Avengers boys find out something horrific about Loki's past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimer applies :D

Tony woke first out of the three Avengers, all who had ended up sleeping on the floor, surrounded by cushions they had dragged in from various rooms shortly after Loki fell asleep. Thinking of their misunderstood martian God, Tony turned to the bed, eyes widening when he found it empty, completely devoid of life. 

_Shit, shit, shit._ He thought, turning about the room silently, determined not to wake his friends until he knew Loki was actually missing. He crept through the pillows to the other side of the room, heaving a sigh of relief when he saw light spilling out from beneath the bathroom door. That relief soon turned to concern as he heard breathy sobs from within. He pushed on the door, saying silent thanks when he found it unlocked, and slowly moved into the bathroom, turning to look behind the door. 

"Oh, Loki." A crippling sadness gripped him as he found the God of Mischief bent before the mirror, one had gripping the sink, knuckles white, the other pressing down on the reopened wound on his side. The Gods face was coated in a sheen of sweat, and, in Tony's eyes, eerily pale. The bright green eyes, almost glowing, Tony thought, flashed to his face before back to the sink, tears streaming down his face. Tony bit back a sigh, feeling the sorrow stab at his gut. It terrified him to be put in this situation. He wasn't good with emotions, and so far there had been far too much crying going on for his taste. Jeez, he had enough problems of his own in that department, and to be alone with a tortured and abused deity who was too afraid to talk, or even to look at him for fear they would hurt him for it? He had no idea how to deal with this. 

But he needed to. Loki needed him to, and he wasn't going to let him down. It looked to him like enough people had let Loki down in his lifetime. He shuffled slowly towards the weeping God, gently grasping the hand held over the wound, holding steady when the expected flinch came, a strangled gasp coming from between the Tricksters clenched teeth. He gently prised the hand from the wound, taking a moment to assess the damage to the stitches. He was relieved to find most were still in place, and the bleeding was down to a sluggish rate where they had torn. He wordlessly reached into the cabinet across from him, pulling out disinfecting wipes to clean the blood away, and a urgical stapler he honestly never thought he would have to use, but something told him Loki really wasn't ready for another round with the needle. He worked silently and efficiently, every now and then sparing a short glance at the God, who shook harder each time Tony touched his skin. When he was finished and cleaned away, he opened the door, gesturing to the God to follow. He didn't speak, and didn't touch, realizing by now that he would probably cause more harm than good. Tony grabbed the bed control, lowering the bed to make it easier for Loki to lay on without bending his side too much. He then offered a few painkillers, pill form, since they couldn't get close to him with the drip, and watched closely, making sure they were swallowed properly. As Bruce and Steve began to show the first signs of waking, Tony made to turn away from Loki, towards his companions, but a tiny clearing of the throat held him back. He turned to the bed just in time to hear Loki whisper, with fresh tears in his eyes and shaking from fear, the one tiny word. "Thankyou". Tony smiled softly at the God, realizing how hard it must have been, but felt disappoinmtent sink in when Loki still refused to meet his eyes, and his shaking tripled with the whispered word. It lit a spark in tony's eyes. A spark of fire. He was positively burning with fury at the idea that someone could do this to such a proud creature, especially the thought that Odin could have ordered this done to his own _son_ , adoptive or not. To make him feel so worthless and pathetic he didn't deign himself good enough to look another person in the eye. To torture him by sewing his lips together, so long that the man was afraid to speak for fear it would cause him pain, for fear someone would hurt him for replying to their questions. What got him most of all, though, was the look of pure submission in Loki's eyes. He'd seen that look in people before, and it was the look they got when they'd been hurt so much, they thought they _deserved_ it. 

"Tony?" 

Tony flinched as he felt Steves hand squeezing his shoulder. He turned to look in the concerned blue eyes, taking a moment to snap out of his reverie. 

"Yeah Cap?" 

"You're crying" A hand moved to gesture to the underneath of his eyes. 

Tony raised a hand to his face, and sure enough, his fingers came off wet with tears. He was perplexed. He was Tony Stark, he didn't cry. Heck, he hadn't cried since his mother passed away, and that was a long time ago. 

"It's nothing, Cap. Just had a bit of a scare this morning, that's all. Woke up to find Reindeer Games in the bathroom, crying and clutching at his bleeding side. He said another word though...Thankyou. Looked me in the eyes for all of a second too, back in the bathroom. Just gets to me that this was done to him, hell, to anyone. It just gets me. I mean my dad was a dick, but this is something else." 

Tony bristled a little at the hand squeezing his shoulder again but let it slide. As much as he wanted to reject Steve's pity, when he looked at him he could see the other Avenger needed this. Needed a smaller issue to take his mind off of the horror of Loki's situation. Needed to keep his own control by thinking about what other people needed, rather than what was going on in his own head. 

"How're you this morning, Loki? Feeling up to some breakfast maybe?" Steve tried to keep down the sadness when Loki shook his head abruptly, a panicked and wild look in his eyes. He scrambled from the bed, over to the far wall, where he sank to the ground, one hand protecting his head, the other wrapped around his knees as he literally held himself together. Steve stepped back as Bruce moved rapidly around the room, kneeling a few feet from Loki, hands outstretched. 

"Loki? Loki, look at my hands, please. They're empty. Nothing to hurt you with, nothing to do anything to you with. Steve didn't mean anything by it, he didn't mean to upset you, I promise, but you have to let us help you. Are you up to answering another couple of questions for me? Just yes and no answers, you don't have to talk if you don't want to. I can even get you a whiteboard if you want, you can answer a bit better that way, okay?" Tony grabbed a whiteboard and marker from the medical cabinet, not stopping to wonder why they even had them. 

"Okay Loki, I'm going to leave the whiteboard and marker here, and I'm going to go sit in that chair over there okay? No problem, nothing to worry about." Bruce moved over to the aforementioned chair, a good five feet from the trembling God, who reached out to snatch up the whiteboard and pen. He nodded slightly to himself, as if he were mentally preparing for the task, before looking more towards Bruce, catching his eye for a mere second, and nodding, this time a little more clearly. 

"Okay, Loki, starting off simple like yesterday, just humor me. Do you remember where you are and how you got here?" 

An eye roll and a nod told Bruce maybe he should stop testing the memory thing, but he had to check, didn't he? 

"Steve mentioned something to eat before-" He paused as the God stiffened, back against the wall. "When was the last time you ate? Honestly? This time I'm really sorry but I want a solid answer, I know I said yes or no questions, but I need to know." 

Loki shook his head a little at the question, eyes darting around the room, but a soft smile from Bruce and his pleas for an answer had his scribbling jerkily on the whiteboard before practically shoving it away from him, as far as his arms would let him hold it. Bruce read slowly, making out the jerky handwriting amidst the shaking of the arms it was held by, but he managed, closing his eyes when his mind processed it.

"Bruce, what is it?" Bruce turned to his fellow Avengers, a sudden age in his eyes that Tony had never seen there before. 

"Before the invasion. When he was with the Chitauri. That's a long time, Tony. Even for a God, that's a long, long time. I think only his magic has been keeping him alive this long, I mean, can you imagine not eating for two years, Tony? Thor eats all day, _every day_." He felt tears prick at the corner of his own eyes, but maintained his resolve, determined that the best way he could help Loki, was to find out what had happened to him. 

"When you were with the Chitauri...how often did you eat then?" 

Loki scribbled furiously on the whiteboard once more...and then literally threw the board across the floor, away from him, pink flush adorning his face, eyes cast away in shame. Steve bent to pick up the whiteboard, raising a hand to cover his mouth as he read it. To Bruce, he looked almost like he was going to throw up. 

"Steve. Steve, what does it say? Turn the board around, please." 

Steve's voice was strangled and weak as he replied, and that was what scared Tony the most. Cap was _never_ this affected. He understood why as he listened, Steve having to take breaks to swallow as his mouth went dry and his voice broke with distress. 

"The Chitauri let me eat when I could be of use to them. I do not begrudge them that, why feed something so worthless. I deserved death, but they graciously fed me sometimes. Their hospitality..came at a price. When my services were required.... the warriors would ply me with food, and I would satiate their...needs. It was a reward, I did not deserve. Far too often...I would not have the energy...and they would take it by _force_."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favourite Thunder God enters the mix....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual disclaimers apply :D

Bruce looked around the room at his companions. Steve was sipping slowly at a glass of water, looking vaguely green, and Tony was sat on the end of the bed, rubbing his face with his hands. At this point, Loki was back in the bed, face completely devoid of emotion. Getting him out of the corner after their little conversation had been difficult, considering the three avengers were trying not to throw up at the news they'd just received. Steve had managed to get Loki to eat a couple of grapes, not nearly as much as he needed, but it was a start, by leaving the grapes next to the bed and asking the other two men to leave. As Tony and Bruce watched on a video feed -kindly provided by JARVIS-, they saw Steve telling Loki stories, engaging him in conversation, every now and then picking up a grape for him to eat, and tossing one to lightly land on Loki's stomach, before immediately keeping talking. After a few turns of this, Loki's hands drifted somewhat towards the grapes, eyes stuck firmly on Steve, fingers trembling slightly as they ghosted over the green fruit. Steve, to his credit, didn't even pause for breath as this happened, locking eyes with the God and smiling gently as he continued his story, using gestures to illustrate his tale which just so happened to leave them open and in front of him for the God to see. 

Tony and Bruce had to hold in their exclamations of glee when the Trickster finally popped a fruit in his mouth, chewing slowly and swallowing, almost ten minutes later. The walls weren't soundproof. 

They'd watched patiently as their charge finished off eight grapes before pushing any more off to the side, looking a little pale. Bruce was not disheartened. It would take time for Loki to be able to stomach food again after so long. Steve smiled gently at the weakened God, popping the remaining grapes in his own mouth with a shrug, as if it didn't matter either way to him. Bruce breathed a sigh of relief at how well Steve had handled what he himself didn't know how to manage. He hoped that later today they would be able to let Loki up to walk around the tower, get him out of the dreary infirmary. He hoped that if Loki saw that they weren't going to lock him away, as a prisoner, he would begin to open up to them a bit more, and trust them. 

_Sir, I thought I should inform you that Master Odinson is approaching the Tower. Estimated time of arrival, two minutes._ JARVIS' voice rang clearly through the room. From then everything seemed to move in slow motion. 

Loki went rigid in the bed, breaths coming in gasps, sweating and shaking, eyes unfocused. Steve moved towards him, hand outstretched as though to offer comfort, and Loki flinched away, jumping out of the bed and streaking towards the door. He tore it half off of the hinges, practically, sprinting down the halls of the tower, Tony and Bruce giving chase as he streaked past them. They caught up to him just as he reached the roof, each grabbing an arm as the broken God struggled forward, closer and closer to the edge. With Steves help they managed to pull the Trickster away from the edge before he threw himself off of it, ensuring to lock the door as they re-entered the main building. They had only just got the God to calm down, in the library of all places, when they heard the tell tale Thunder crash that usually announced Thors visits. Leaving Steve and Bruce holding Loki, now white as a sheet with a manic look about him, Tony shut the door to the library behind him, making his way to the Lounge. 

Thor was stood in the middle of the room, ever present hammer hanging off his wrists as he looked around, face splitting into a smile when he saw Tony enter the room. 

"Friend Stark! Oh, it is a joyous thing to be seeing you again!" He gathered Tony into his arms in a rib crushing hug, only replacing him on the floor after the billionaire choked out that he swore he could hear his ribs cracking under the strain. 

"So big guy, social visit, or business trip?" Tony smiled nervously, not knowing exactly how involved Thor had been in Loki's punishment, or whether he knew he had escaped. 

Thors smile wilted a little at this, but Tony was relieved to see it was worry on the Thunder Gods face, not anger. "I am afraid, friend Stark, that my brother has gone missing, and I am searching for him. He has been punished most heinously for his crimes, and I am concerned for his welfare, not the havoc he could cause. I was hoping yourself, and our other companions, would aid me in my search." 

Tony ran a hand through his hair, chuckling anxiously. "Well, you see-" 

He was cut off by a crash from the Library, and the door tore open, showing Loki, panting with exertion, eyes wild, having just escaped from his restraints. He looked ready to bolt, however, seeing Thor caused him to freeze, eyes widening even further than Tony thought possible, a strange trembling whine creeping out from between his gritted teeth. 

Tony grimaced as Thor's hammer slipped from his grasp - _probably making a nice dent in my floor_ , he thought-, the Thunder Gods mouth opening and closing, confusion and relief mixing together in his eyes as tears crept forth. Loki began edging backwards, away from his brother, and his mouth snapped shut. 

"Brother...I am not here to take you back. I swear to the norns, I would not take you back after what was done to you. _Look_ at you." He gasped, eyes roaming down his younger brothers figure. Tony could see what upset him. The Trickster was pale, shaky, looked terrfied, and thinner than Tony had ever seen him, but most of all he looked _tired._ He looked as though a light gust of wind could bowl him over, for he no longer had the energy to stand as the adrenaline wore off. Thor took a step forwards, arms wide, but movements cautious, as though approaching a frightened deer. As he spoke, a solitary tear rolled down his cheek, his voice catching on his words. 

"I promise brother, I will never hurt you like that again...I love you, brother." 

Tony had to dodge out of the way as the God of Mischief practically threw himself into his brothers waiting arms. Tony couldn't tell whether he was hugging him or hitting him, but from the looks on Steves and Bruces faces, who had walked hesitantly into the room, he guessed they didn't know either. He concluded it to be a mix of the two when Thor gently held his brothers wrists in one hand, wiping his tears away with the other, and held him close as he sobbed. Loki said not a word, as they had become accustomed to, but Thor was softly crooning as he swept his brother off his feet, holding his frail body close to his chest. 

"Im sorry, Loki. You're safe now. You're safe, little brother.. I'm so sorry. I won't hurt you again, I swear it."

Bruce, Tony and Steve looked on, unwilling tears grathering in their own eyes as they watched the brothers share this intimate moment. They had never seen Thor cry before, and seeing the jolly giant in such distress brought home the sorry situation they found themselves in. They each let their eyes drop to the floor as Thor lay his thin burden on the couch as his breaths evened out in sleep, removing his cape to drape delicately over his sleeping sibling, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. He straightened out, giving a solemn look to his teammates as he gestured for them to leave the room. When they were all situated in the hallway, he slid the door shut quietly behind him, turning to face Steve, as their leader. 

"I'd like an explanation Captain." He stated, arms crossed, his tremendous height causing him to bear down on them, but Steve was not deterred. 

"To be honest, Thor, so would we. Maybe we should move this to a meeting room, and then we can all talk. I think you've got more explaining to do than us." His voice was stern, but there was softness in his eyes. 

Seeing this, Thor relented, resigning himself to the long tale he would be made to tell. He should have known they would ask eventually. 

"Very well. Let us get this over with."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffy bonding time here :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual Disclaimer applies :D

As they all settled around the polished table of the one meeting room Tony actually allowed in his tower, Bruce asked JARVIS quietly to give them a video feed of the living room. He wasn't too worried, but he didn't think Thor, or any of them for that matter, really wanted Loki to wake up alone right now. He took a few deep, calming breaths, waiting for the downfall to begin. 

"So, point break, you mind telling us what the heck is going on here? Because I mean, one minute Loki's terrified to see you, trying to throw himself off the balcony as soon as he knows you're coming, and the next he's clinging to you like you're his mama? What's up with that?" 

Thor sighed, his eyes falling to the gleaming wood of the table. When he spoke it was with utter remorse, and dejection. 

"Loki....Loki was punished...severely. He may have feared I was going to take him back to that. The last time we saw one another....I was the one hurting him. The allfather commanded I hold him down as his lips were sewn together a-"

Thor's account was interrupted by Steve standing abruptly from his seat, eyes ablaze with fury. " _You_ held him down? _You_ kept him there while they _sewed his lips shut?_

Tony had to clench the table to stop from flinching as Thor roared back across the table, indignant. "It was to save his _life_ , Captain! Do you think I would have let it happen if there were a better option? Do not think you can admonish me for this terrible act, for noone is as horrified about it as I." His angry growling had receeded to a sad form of pleading by the end of his sentence. "You do not know the power of the allfather. His word is final. it was all my mother and I could do to reduce hi sentence, to have him banished from Asgard with his mouth sewn shut, and to have I being the one to help administer the punishment, so he could have some form of comfort as he bore the pain." 

Bruce took a few more deep breaths, determined to keep the other guy at bay here, although he was hard pushed to do so. He pushed his glasses up on his nose, turning to Thor. "So...when Loki saw you and was hitting you..he was remembering what you did..but he hugged you because he knows you were trying to help?" It was all very confusing in his eyes, but he thought he could see where Loki was coming from, seeing Thor nod sullenly. It would probably take Loki a long time to trust him again, and to stop fearing his presence quite so badly, but if Thor was the only thing that had given him any comfort at the time, and had saved him from a worse fate....Bruce grimaced as he realized how confusing this all must be for Loki, let alone them. 

Thor spoke up again, looking more anxious as he looked round the table than Tony had ever seen him. "Tell me, please, my friends, how does he fare? He looks so very ill and... _frail_." 

Tony scoffed at that, standing from his own seat to pace the length of the room, the Thunder God following his every movement with his eyes. "That's an understatement. Did you know he hasn't even fed himself properly since before he met the Chitauri? That's two years, Thor. Two years and I think even you'd lose a bit of muscle mass. He's scared to death of everyone that comes anywhere near him, scared they'll want something from him, want to hurt him. What little food he got when he was with the Chitauri came at a price, Thor, and not a very cheap one. They used him and abused him and took him for everything they thought he was worth, and he has a low enough self esteem to think he deserved it. He thinks he fucking _deserved_ raping him for their own sick gain!" By this point, Tony was screaming, his patience shattered. "And he won't even talk to people about it because the goddamn allfather made him think even his words weren't worth jack shit!" His chest heaving, Tony slid down the nearest wall to sit on the floor, brown eyes fixed to Thors blue ones, steely determinations shining through. "We don't know what to do to help him, buddy, we don't know what he wants, but we're going to try to give him it, we swear. But you're gonna have to help us there."

 _Sir, I thought I should inform you that Master Laufeyson has awoken, and made his way to the roof._ Tony swore under his breath as Steve and Bruce both pelted for the door, Thor following, sensing there was a good reason behind the alarm. 

"Christ, not again" he mumbled to himself as he followed rapidly. 

However when the Avengers reached the topmost part of the tower, tumbling towards the dge of the balcony, it was not to find a Loki shaped splat on the sidewalk far below. Turning around themselves in confusion, they all stopped at the sight of Loki, sat, leaning up against the short wall of the balcony, head leaning backwards as if to look towards the stars that were hardly ever visible above the lights of New York, his whiteboard and pen clutched in his hand. 

"Loki?" Bruce edged slowly forward, his voice quiet. Loki's eyes shot open, but he didn't panic as usual, he merely grabbed his pen and began to write, the lightest smile gracing his lips. 

_Why would I jump? I am not lucky enough to die from it. I realize that now._ His hands hesitated then, and he appeared to be thinking carefully about what he would put next. Thor was making choking sounds, trying to refrain from reaching out to his brother again at this particular moment.

 _Thankyou for stopping me before. I am tired now._ And boy did he look it, uncapping his pen once more, writing below his previous messages, none of the Avengers present failed to notice how badly his hands shook and how he tilted to one side, eyelids fluttering to keep himself awake. 

_May we sleep out here tonight, rather than indoors?_

And, after a short explanation due to Thors confusion, with the God of Thunder lying close to Loki, hand close but not quite holding that of the Trickster God, with Bruce on a mattress dragged from one of the guest rooms, and Steve and Tony on loungers near where Thor and Loki lay on the floor, blankets and pillows everywhere pulled out from the living room, and many empty mugs of hot chocolate later, they slept.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries his hand at getting Loki to eat a little more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual Disclaimer applies :D

Tony woke earlier that morning than he usually did. A lot earlier. Wiping the sleep from his eyes he looked around him, out on the balcony. Thor was snoring steadily in his place on the floor, spread out like an eagle. Bruce was curled up in the tiniest little ball possible on his mattress, despite having the entire king size to himself. Steve lay ramrod straight on the lounger, a habit left over from his days in the army. The only change, besides his own wakefulness, was Loki. The Trickster God was curled up in the corner of the low wall, eyes closed as though in sleep, though his unsteady breathing gave him away. Tony frowned, concerned at the Gods penchant for isolation, but he supposed it was only to be expected. In his time as an avenger, he's seen his fair share of torture victims, and they all seemed to have a pretty similar profile. Keeping away from others, from a fear or rejection or from fear they would be hurt, was a common tell. Yawning widely, Tony stretched and stood from his lounger. Edging carefully around Bruce's mattress, and dodging Thor's stirring limbs, he wandered towards Loki, making his steps slower the closer he became, giving the Trickster plenty of warning of his approach. As he neared, he shifted to a crouch, placing himself just below Loki's eye line. 

"Hey" 

Loki's eyes fluttered open, but they were not alarmed. Green eyes met brown for the most fleeting of moments before Loki tilted his head purposefully forward, avoiding direct eye contact. 

"You wanna come inside with me? We can just sit for a while, in the warm, and watch the news or something, I don't know. It's a bit cold out here, isn't it?" 

Tony bit back a frustrated scream as Loki's dark head bobbed forward in a sullen nod. This wasn't helping him, it was time to take a risk. _Hopefully it won't just make it worse_ , he thought. 

He placed a hand gently on Loki's shoulder, the other cupping his chin, raising it delicately so their faces were in alignment. He grimaced slightly as he noticed Loki biting his lower lip, wincing as his teeth scraped the abused skin the stitching left behind. 

"Hey, look at me," He asked, barely even noticing the pleading voice his tone had taken on, busy as he was trying to disregard the slight tremor building under his hands. "Look at me, please." He repeated his request, waiting until finally, wide emerald irises were staring into his own, chocolate eyes. "I'm not going to hurt you. _None of us are going to hurt you, Loki_. We want to help you. But you have to let us, else it isn't going to work. Now come on, we're going inside and we're gonna...I don't know, we'll have coffee or something. Have you ever had coffee? I know Thor hasn't."

He stood, removing his hands from Loki's body, only to bend and grasp his hands as he stood, stilling the shaking. He smiled softly as the God complied, climbing to his feet, shuffling dutifully to the kitchen, taking a seat at the island. He was startled by the way Loki seemed to instinctively curve in on himself as soon as he sat down, head looking down, hands fiddling nervously with his sleeves. Tony tried to swallow down his laugh. They'd gotten Loki to change out of his torn, blood crusted Asgardian clothes, and into something a bit softer. He had to say, the read, white and blue emblem on the front of the Captain America pyjamas didn't exactly suit the tortured look Loki seemed to have going for him. He shook the thought from his head, worried that if he let himself laugh out loud, Loki would think he was laughing at _him_ , and that couldn't really be a good thing. 

"So, hungry? I'm gonna put on some coffee and you can decide how you want it...some people like it with milk and lots of sugar..hmmm you could probably do with at least the sugar..but is there anything else you want?" Tony voiced his thoughts as he had them, not noticing how he had started to ramble halfway through his inquiry. 

He turned to see Loki shaking his head swiftly, wincing at the pain it caused, fists grasping the counter tightly. Tony moved quickly to support him from behind, ignoring the flinch that only made his hands squeeze tighter on the marble counter-top. He kept forgetting to check how Loki's injuries were, and he felt guilt nag at his brain as he realized how little rest Loki had actually gotten in the past day or so, compared with how much he actually needed. Once again, he filed the thought away for later, focusing on the task at hand. 

"Come on, reindeer games, you've got to eat something. Anything you want, promise. Unless you need me to get Steve..do you need that? Did he help yesterday?" Tony was no stranger to the idea that he himself wasn't much of a comforter, and that Steve was way better at it than he was, but he couldn't help but be a little stung. He was trying his best, and he'd like to think he was helping just a _little_ bit, even if not much. 

He noticed Loki gesturing as if he wanted to write, and immediately grabbed for the whiteboard and pen he'd at least had the foresight to grab on their way in. He waited with baited breath as Loki wrote, only to let it out in a rush when he read the slightly erratic script. 

_I have not done anything to deserve it._

Tony plucked the board from the startled God's long fingers, picking up the pen and uncapping it. He hastily wrote out his own reply on the whiteboard. He didn't know why he wrote it..maybe he just thought Loki would actually grasp the message better if it was written down in front of him. 

_You don't have to._

Loki shook his head minutely, but he didn't back away when Tony reached out to move the board, accidentally brushing his sleeve. Tony considered that a success. 

"So, what'll it be, pancakes? Fruit? Ooooh I know, a smoothie, right?" He began gathering the ingredients for various different breakfasts, throwing them on the different counters. He paused for thought when the whiteboard was slid over to him once more, writing less erratic, which could only be a good sign. 

_Whatever I'm allowed_

Tony kneaded his forehead with his fingers, drawing the chair across from Loki out from under the table. Steve really was better at this stuff. 

"Lokes...you're _allowed_ to eat whatever you want. Anything in this kitchen that you want to eat, you can, it's fine. I know Thor likes to eat some weird ass stuff, I came home one night and he was practically skinning a deer on the balcony, but hey, I don't judge. You're one of us now, Loki, we want to help you. So come on, pick your poison. How about that smoothie, huh?" He smirked, transferring to a full blown grin as the corner of Loki's mouth twitched up. He started coring the apples, quickly moving on to slicing through banana's. 

"T-Tony..." Came the slight whisper from behind him. Tony whirled round, smiling at the God for his words, until he noticed what he was looking at. 

Tony nearly sliced off his thumb.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is an unpleasant surprise going to ruin everything? Or might it just help them?

"Stark, what the fuck is he doing here?" Clint growled, arrow already notched and aimed at Loki's forehead, who's eyes were wide with fear. Tony dropped the knife, moving round the table to push in front of him. Clint lowered his bow slightly, but his face remained royally pissed off. Natasha appeared behind him, hand flying to her gun. Her eyes swept the room, locking on the God of Mischief, who had left his seat and crouched, shaking, in the corner of the kitchenette that was furthest from the assassins. The black widow holstered her gun, approaching the God with unexpected hesitancy. Tony watched, tense, ready to jump to Loki's aid if necessary. 

"What happened to him?" She murmured, kneeling in front of him, not touching, nor so close as to scare him. She looked almost.... _concerned_ , Tony thought. 

"Odin." Clint whipped around to face Steve and Bruce, entering from the balcony. Steve moved rapidly across the room, pushing Clints bow down in his surprise. If the Cap and Banner were in on this too...he could wait, but he wanted an explanation, fast. He said so, fists clenched, and nodded tightly as Bruce suggested they all move to the living room. 

Tony sat on a stool over by the bar area, Steve and Bruce taking seats either side of Loki on the couch, keeping to the sides so Loki had enough room in the middle not to be uncomfortable. They had placed soft cushions behind him, realizing he was still recovering from heavy injuries, and wanting to avoid any pain on his part. Natasha sat in the chaise opposite, and Clint sat on the arm of the chair. 

"I want to know what's going on here, Tony, what the hell is he doing back in our realm and what do you mean, Odin did it to him? What did he do? Why haven't you sent the bastard back, Stark?" 

Steve took a deep breath, jumping in on this one, tone clipped and stern. "I found him. In an Alley. Terrified and alone, covered in blood, afraid to be touched....With his lips _sewn shut_ " 

Loki flinched at this, sinking back into the sofa with a wince on his tender back. Clint looked vaguely green, but Natasha remained stoic. The only thing that gave away her horror was the light in her eyes and the sharp intake of breath. Bruce let his breath out, standing to pace the room, continuing steadily after the disturbing revelation. 

"Tony and Steve brought him back to the tower. He was covered in stab wounds and cuts, and he flinched when you so much as spoke to him. I cut the thread out..and stitched up his wounds-" another sharp intake of breath from Loki and Bruce shot him a sympathetic glance, "but he wouldn't talk. Wouldn't eat, hasn't for a long time. Tried to throw himself off of the balcony yesterday, when he heard Thor was coming. Odin ordered this his punishment. After he got controlled and raped by the Chitauri, and his mind invaded, which might I remind you, _you_ told us Clint, so don't forget he was controlled even more so than you were, his father ordered this on him." Bruce sat rapidly back in his seat, his fingers gripping hard to the sofa as green tinged his vision, taking deep breaths until it cleared. Clint had a hand clapped over his mouth by now, and Natasha had a sole tear at the edge of her left eye, the only betrayal to her inner emotions. Tony was nursing a tumbler of scotch, and Steve had his eyes fixed with Loki's, determined not to put his own emotions before the traumatised Tricksters, helping the God through the deep breathing he so clearly needed right now. They sat in silence for a moment, no one having words to give, Clint and Natasha seeming neutralized for the time being. 

"My friends? Brother? What is occurring?" Thor peaked in through the doors from the balcony, relieved to see his safe with his friends although rushing over at the distress on his face, pulling him in for a hug that was accepted with only a slight wince from the Trickster God. Loki seemed more comfortable around Thor than Tony or the others, but he figured that was because Loki knew where he stood with Thor. The others..he had never been given much reason to trust, until now.

Clint swallowed, seeing how much turmoil was evident in the eyes of his former enemy, the wince as he was held, and the desperation with which Thor clung to his brother, as though afraid he would be stolen from him. "It's fine, buddy, we were just a little confused when we say Loki here, that's all. It's fine. Me and Nat are gonna go to our rooms now...no offence. We're still not too comfortable around him, and I don't think he's very keen to be with us right now either." 

He pulled Natasha from her seat by the hand and they both left the living room, mumbling quietly together. Natasha was less averse to the idea of Loki being around than he was, she saw the damage that had been done to him from the moment they set eyes on him, the way he no longer held himself with any confidence, how he acted like he would like nothing better than to sink into the floor. Clint...he didn't blame Loki too much for the Chitauri incident, after all it was him that pointed out the mind control symptoms the God displayed...it was just difficult to forget his voice in his mind, the utter complacency to his whim, and the shame it had caused once he had awoken. 

He'd sleep with his bow under his pillow for a few nights, just in case. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Loki, Loki can you hear me?" Green eyes shot upwards to meet brown, his head bopping in a nod as the doctor let his shirt fall down, the deity hissing as it made contact with his wounds. 

"Sorry, you were in a kind of daze. You're not healing as well as I'd hoped, but the staples Tony put in are holding, which is luck considering how much running around you've been doing, and my negligence of checking up on you. You've got a slight fever, but none of your wounds seem infected, but I'll give you something for it nonetheless. Now come on, Tony made smoothies, Clint and Natasha aren't going to bother us, and then you're going to rest some more, even if it's just on the couch, watching movies. We'll have a lazy day. You need something to eat and drink first though. You okay to do that for us?" 

Loki nodded reluctantly. Bruce sighed softly. He had dealt with all kinds of illness, but trauma was not his strong point. He guessed they could only take it slow, and hope that everyone could help support them. He watched as Loki stood, sitting next to his brother at the table, leaning into his shoulder as the Thunder God wrapped an arm around him. Though it confused them, Loki seemed to take more comfort in Thor now than ever, which usually would've had the Thunderer beaming like a kid at Christmas. Now however, he wasn't really in the mood for smiling. 

Thor let his fingers card through Loki's soft black hair, gently, for he knew he had sustained head injury, he had been told so by Banner. He frowned as he felt the rush of magic beneath his fingers, he had always been able to feel Loki's magical core, but it felt so much stronger now, and coiled in him like a serpent. He closed his eyes in worry as he considered why. 

"Brother" He whispered softly, knowing the others could still hear him, but not wanting to make it seem as though he was discussing their affairs with the whole room. "Why have you restricted your magic? You will make yourself ill." 

Thor held tighter to his brother as he felt him tense, releasing him suddenly at the hiss of pain it elicited from him. 

"Punished" Loki whispered, head hanging in shame, flush rising to his cheeks. "Punished...for magic." It was the most Loki had said at any one time since arrival, and he appeared terrified of having done so. While the others were pleased, the conversation didn't exactly inspire glee in them. Bruce had shut his book with a snap, making the God of mischief flinch as the scientist rounded on the Thunder God. 

"Did you say not using his magic is going to make him sick? Could that be why he has a fever, but no infection?" Thor frowned, confused. It was always odd for him to talk to those who didn't understand his brothers magic, simply because he had grown up around it. 

"Of course. Loki's magic is part of his life force. It builds inside him, a force mightier than a hundred foul bilgesnipe. It needs a release, or the energy eats away at him, and makes him ill. He has been withholding the force of it for far too long, I fear. I noticed he looked pale and ill on arrival, but I thought it part of his injury. Now you have noticed he is fevered, I know it is his magic." He put a hand to his brothers forehead, feeling the emanating heat for himself. "Loki, you will not be punished for using your magic here. It is a good thing. It could help you, you know this. You do not wish to make yourself so ill, do you?" 

Loki shook his head, trembling. He could feel the magic building within him, he ached to use it, ached to be free of the pressure it inflicted on him, of the pain it caused as it burned him from the inside, kept trapped within for too long. But the memories overpowered his will. The memory of the pain he was put through in the dungeons of Asgard, by the guards that wanted nothing more than to have their way with him, to get their own back for the devastation he had caused their realm. He felt tears spill from his eyes and turned away from his brother, flinching as he crashed straight into Bruce. He couldn't stand them all seeing him so weak, so vulnerable, but he couldn't help the longing he had to be near them. To feel safe and protected. He crumpled into the smaller mans shoulder, sobbing, feeling the other man rubbing warm hands up and down his back. He felt himself being picked up by the surprisingly strong scientist, and then lain down on the sofa, a blanket wrapped over him. He felt the warmth of his brothers hand in his own, felt Tony lift his feet and sit beneath them, a comforting presence without being overbearing. He heard Steve turn the television on to a mindless soap opera, and felt, more than saw, Bruce Banner sitting on the floor in front of him, offering up a glass of water and a box of tissues. Without word, he took both, putting the tissues to the side and drinking the water to calm himself. He looked around the room, at these men who had been so kind to him, who were not judging him, who he felt safer around than anyone in the nine realms. 

As they sat together, watching television until the late afternoon, Loki watched as the four men around him chatted amicably, going so far as to try and include him with his whiteboard and pen, and the use of nodding and shaking his head as well, Loki resolved to heal, for them. For these men he longed to call 'friends'. 

He didn't feel he deserved them, yet. 

"Are we sure we _want_ him using his magic again, Tony?" Clint whined from his position on the couch, controller in his hand. Tony sighed. If Clint wasn't going to help, he could at least keep quiet whilst the rest of them discussed what they were going to do about their current situation. Loki sat hunched over on his chair next to Thor, wrapped firmly in Thor's bright red cape, his having woken up that morning with violent chills bought on by his magic suppression induced fever. 

"My brothers magic was never dangerous, Bartonson. It was the Chitauri staff he carried that allowed destruction to be wrought of his powers. Loki's own magic has never been used for ill effect. I know this, for I can feel it. It has not darkened, all our lives." He smiled warmly down at his sibling, it turning to a frown as he pressed a hand to his forehead. They all knew Loki needed desperately to unleash some of his magic, before it fried him from the inside out, but torture left scars that took a long time to heal, Tony at least knew that, and he could only sympathise with Loki not wanting to use his powers out of fear. If he'd been conditioned to associate magic with punishment....then there wasn't much they could do besides let the relationship deteriorate, or _try_ and condition him otherwise. If they knew what he wanted, this would be so much easier...

"Deep breaths, Loki" Thor supported his younger brother as he breathed through the dizziness and nausea that had just come over him. He'd been growing progressively weaker as time went by, without using his magic to sustain himself anymore, and the toll of eating very little and suppressing the very force keeping him alive was beginning to show. There were bruise like circles beneath his eyes and they could all see him hands shaking when he wasn't consciously hiding it. Today they had finally managed to convince him that they weren't going to harm him for doing so, by swearing an oath on Thor's hammer, binding them to a magical contract. It seemed they'd underestimated how difficult it would be to help the God recover. Since he was out of practice, and indeed so fearful of the consequences of using his magic, each tiny trick had to be squeezed from him like blood from a stone. He had just been convinced to conjure a small flame in the palm of his hand, and had been rendered almost unconscious by the dizziness it caused him. Beads of sweat were now running down his face, they'd been on his brow for a while, what with the fever he'd garnered. 

"That was way better than last time. Bruce thinks maybe if you relax a little more when you try and cast a spell, it'll work better, and flow easier, so this time, try and think of good memories, okay? Thor, help him, talk about good times when you were younger or something. Okay, lets go again." Steve was aware his speech was getting progressively faster, but he was admittedly pretty worried about Loki right now. He looked almost _grey_ and it reminded Steve waay too much of when he found him in that back alley. His injuries were slowly healing, but he was still in pain and stuff, so their urge to protect Loki was yet to fade one bit. 

Loki rolled his shoulders back, barely wincing when it tugged at his wounds. Thor was rambling on about one of their past adventures, and Loki let himself be washed away in the stream of words, seeing it vividly in his minds eye. He felt the tingle of magic reach his fingers as Thor described the spells he had cast to protect them, the Thunder God obviously having chosen a tale that would inflate his self-esteem. He felt the energy building inside him, strainging to be released. He clenched his eyes, drawing deep breaths to calm himself. He felt Thor rubbing a thumb down his spine, helping him melt into relaxation. The energy could be restrained no more, or it would kill him at this stage. He had no other choice. 

He let it out. 

His eyes flew open as his back became ramrod straight, turning to face away from his brother and the Avengers. Bright light, white in the middle but green at the edges, pulsed from him in a beam of energy. His eyes glowed white as his fingers played, the magic flowing over his skin, lighting him up like a christmas tree. The workshop floor he had aimed the beams at was charred and the equipment smashed, but Loki could not care. He was on fire, burning, and it felt _incredible_. Not like the uncomfortable warmth and stickiness of before, but like he was actually feeling something besides pain for the first time in a while. He let himself smile openly, honestly, as he felt the magic soothe his wounds, knitting at least the skin back together, he thought. He let the power pour from him, streaming off in waves until he felt his control slipping back into place. He let the magic run from him for a mere moment more, before gently easing his barriers back into place, exhaustion beginning to show. He knew he would be mentally fragile and easily tired for a few days now at least, the outpour having torn his mental shields to shreds, allowing him to feel more than he wished to. He knew this, and let himself be swallowed by the acceptance of it and the floor rushed to greet him. 

Tony volunteered to take the night shift of watching Loki, waiting for him to wake up again so they knew nothing was terribly wrong. Thor told them Loki had just torn through his barriers or something like that, exhausted himself, but that didn't mean they weren't just a little bit concerned. And Tony..he'd brough his tablet into the room with him, intending to get some work done since he would be awake, but his mind was running round in circles. He couldn't get his head around the blatant display of pure _power_ he had seen that afternoon. If he ever needed any evidence that Loki hadn't truly wanted to kill them all in Manhattan, here it was. That much power could have levelled new york if it had been intended to, focused, unlike in the lab. He shuddered at the thought. 

He was broken from his awed reverie when Loki shifted, evidently breaking out of his unconsciousness. The trickster lifted a hand to his head, wincing with the headache pounding in his skull. His eyes drifted open, and he turned to the human at his side, smiling as he pressed a glowing hand to his own head to ease the discomfort he felt. It felt so good to have his magic back, and to know they would not hurt him for it. 

"Thankyou so very much" he stated simply as he snuggled into his pillows, intent on sleeping for another few hours. 

"You're welcome" Tony muttered as he swallowed a surge of pride. Loki hadn't even whispered that time. It was definitely the loudest he'd heard the God speak since Manhattan. 

They were making progress.

The next morning, Loki was up and about again, in good spirits it seemed. He made breakfast for the others, in his gratitude, althout he still ate very little himself. Bruce managed to coax him into swallowing a few protein shakes, which the God took to instantly, but not much more. Clint and Natasha ate in the kitchen with them this morning, their relationship with Loki gradually improving. They'd been forced to accept earlier in the week that Loki wasn't going anywhere, and they'd better get used to him if they wanted to talk to Tony, Steve, Bruce or Thor any time soon. They'd both agreed to keep quiet about it too. 

So how Fury found out about it, nobody knew.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki starts making some slow, slow progress with his magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual Disclaimer applies :D

"Deep breaths, Loki" Thor supported his younger brother as he breathed through the dizziness and nausea that had just come over him. He'd been growing progressively weaker as time went by, without using his magic to sustain himself any more, and the toll of eating very little and suppressing the very force keeping him alive was beginning to show. There were bruise like circles beneath his eyes and they could all see him hands shaking when he wasn't consciously hiding it. Today they had finally managed to convince him that they weren't going to harm him for doing so, by swearing an oath on Thor's hammer, binding them to a magical contract. It seemed they'd underestimated how difficult it would be to help the God recover. Since he was out of practice, and indeed so fearful of the consequences of using his magic, each tiny trick had to be squeezed from him like blood from a stone. He had just been convinced to conjure a small flame in the palm of his hand, and had been rendered almost unconscious by the dizziness it caused him. Beads of sweat were now running down his face, they'd been on his brow for a while, what with the fever he'd garnered. 

"That was way better than last time. Bruce thinks maybe if you relax a little more when you try and cast a spell, it'll work better, and flow easier, so this time, try and think of good memories, okay? Thor, help him, talk about good times when you were younger or something. Okay, lets go again." Steve was aware his speech was getting progressively faster, but he was admittedly pretty worried about Loki right now. He looked almost _grey_ and it reminded Steve way too much of when he found him in that back alley. His injuries were slowly healing, but he was still in pain and stuff, so their urge to protect Loki was yet to fade one bit. 

Loki rolled his shoulders back, barely wincing when it tugged at his wounds. Thor was rambling on about one of their past adventures, and Loki let himself be washed away in the stream of words, seeing it vividly in his minds eye. He felt the tingle of magic reach his fingers as Thor described the spells he had cast to protect them, the Thunder God obviously having chosen a tale that would inflate his self-esteem. He felt the energy building inside him, straining to be released. He clenched his eyes, drawing deep breaths to calm himself. He felt Thor rubbing a thumb down his spine, helping him melt into relaxation. The energy could be restrained no more, or it would kill him at this stage. He had no other choice. 

He let it out. 

His eyes flew open as his back became ramrod straight, turning to face away from his brother and the Avengers. Bright light, white in the middle but green at the edges, pulsed from him in a beam of energy. His eyes glowed white as his fingers played, the magic flowing over his skin, lighting him up like a Christmas tree. The workshop floor he had aimed the beams at was charred and the equipment smashed, but Loki could not care. He was on fire, burning, and it felt _incredible_. Not like the uncomfortable warmth and stickiness of before, but like he was actually feeling something besides pain for the first time in a while. He let himself smile openly, honestly, as he felt the magic soothe his wounds, knitting at least the skin back together, he thought. He let the power pour from him, streaming off in waves until he felt his control slipping back into place. He let the magic run from him for a mere moment more, before gently easing his barriers back into place, exhaustion beginning to show. He knew he would be mentally fragile and easily tired for a few days now at least, the out-pour having torn his mental shields to shreds, allowing him to feel more than he wished to. He knew this, and let himself be swallowed by the acceptance of it and the floor rushed to greet him. 

Tony volunteered to take the night shift of watching Loki, waiting for him to wake up again so they knew nothing was terribly wrong. Thor told them Loki had just torn through his barriers or something like that, exhausted himself, but that didn't mean they weren't just a little bit concerned. And Tony..he'd brought his tablet into the room with him, intending to get some work done since he would be awake, but his mind was running round in circles. He couldn't get his head around the blatant display of pure _power_ he had seen that afternoon. If he ever needed any evidence that Loki hadn't truly wanted to kill them all in Manhattan, here it was. That much power could have levelled New York if it had been intended to, focused, unlike in the lab. He shuddered at the thought. 

He was broken from his awed reverie when Loki shifted, evidently breaking out of his unconsciousness. The trickster lifted a hand to his head, wincing with the headache pounding in his skull. His eyes drifted open, and he turned to the human at his side, smiling as he pressed a glowing hand to his own head to ease the discomfort he felt. It felt so good to have his magic back, and to know they would not hurt him for it. 

"Thank you so very much" he stated simply as he snuggled into his pillows, intent on sleeping for another few hours. 

"You're welcome" Tony muttered as he swallowed a surge of pride. Loki hadn't even whispered that time. It was definitely the loudest he'd heard the God speak since Manhattan. 

They were making progress.

The next morning, Loki was up and about again, in good spirits it seemed. He made breakfast for the others, in his gratitude, although he still ate very little himself. Bruce managed to coax him into swallowing a few protein shakes, which the God took to instantly, but not much more. Clint and Natasha ate in the kitchen with them this morning, their relationship with Loki gradually improving. They'd been forced to accept earlier in the week that Loki wasn't going anywhere, and they'd better get used to him if they wanted to talk to Tony, Steve, Bruce or Thor any time soon. They'd both agreed to keep quiet about it too. Promised not to tell Fury. 

But Fury always managed to find out what they wanted most to hide.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHIELD takes things too far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual Disclaimer applies :D

It was a Saturday when they came. 

Thor was in the training room with Steve, Clint and Natasha, working on group fighting techniques. Tony, and Bruce were in the lab, Tony working on his suit and Bruce watching him work, simply content to be in intelligent company. Loki had been left to his own devices in the library, smiling wryly to himself at the imagination of some Midgardians, especially when it came to their mythology. He'd just been setting down another book on one of the vast number of shelves when the door opened, and he turned with a smile to face whichever Avenger had come to greet him. 

It had taken them seconds to capture him, in his weakened state. 

They had come, in black uniforms, with guns strapped to their chests, like a puddle of tar in his beautiful library. They had pulled him from his precious books as they bound and gagged him, thrusting his head into a black sack, kicking him to the ground for good measure. Loki bit his lip hard, trying not to let out a sob as he was dragged from the room, bound like cattle, with no-one to help him as silent tears dripped down his face in terror. 

The alarm sounded, startling the avengers as they carried out their day to day activities. Surprisingly it was Thor who was the first to jump into action, correctly fearing for the safety of his younger sibling. He summoned Mjolnir from the floor of the training room, charging to the library, where he knew Loki had been spending his morning. As he ran, his team mates following swiftly, fear gripped his heart. He had only just gotten his brother back, and the idea of something having happened to him brought tears to his eyes. They neared the door just in time to see Tony and Bruce run in ahead of them, and Steve grit his teeth in anger at his stupidity. Loki was vulnerable and weak right now and they had left him alone, despite knowing there was always a possibility someone would find out about his presence at the tower and try to get to him. 

When they all managed to squeeze through the door together, none of them willing to wait for the others to go first, they surveyed the damage, grimacing at what they found. It was clear the struggle that had gone on, and the damage that had probably been done to their resident Trickster God. The table and chair in which Loki usually sat were overturned and broken, the books were scattered, a few drops of deep, glistening blood lay on the covers. Thor let out a ferocious growl, launching himself through the window, flying out across the city with his hammer, searching for the captors of his beloved brother. The others were each caught in their own minds. Bruce, started to pick up the tomes left behind, thinking only how Loki would be outraged if they left books on the floor. Tony and Steve were already strategically going through where in the City they would search, and who would've taken the God. Clint and Natasha were just confused. 

"If you're confused about what happened here today, gentlemen, then let me clear it up for you. You cannot keep secrets from us. We know when you sneeze, when you wipe your nose, and where you buy the tissues to wipe your nose with. And if you think you can keep a motherfucking _super villain_ hiding out in your tower without us knowing, _think again_." Fury stepped out from the shadows of the bookshelves, his face living up to the name. Tony paled a little, imagining what Fury and SHIELD probably had in store for Loki. He stepped forward, but Bruce spoke up before he could, the doctor looking a little green in the eyes, which made Fury step back. 

"What are you doing to him?" He growled out, his shirt beginning to tear as his body bulged. The Hulk in him really wanted to tear Fury apart for messing with _their_ Loki, who, even though he had been a super villain, they now thought of as the one they needed to protect, who was so afraid of everything right now, who made Thor so happy to be around.

"Whatever we are _doing_ to him, you can rest assured it is nothing less than he deserves. Loki is a war criminal, gentlemen, and he will be treated as such. Good day." The SHIELD director beat a hasty retreat as Bruce seethed, barely refraining for tearing up the tower. Tony wasn't faring much better, picking up pieces of the broken table and chair to throw around the room, venting his frustrations. Steve could catch the words "sneaky bastard" and "upgrade security" being repeated in his tirade. Meanwhile, Clint and Natasha were talking in hushed tones, but the low murmur he could hear suggested they were just as troubled as any of them. The pair had been slowly warming to the newest Norse God resident of the tower, and Steve could tell his kidnap hit them hard. 

Personally, he thought it was about time they took some action. 

After everyone calmed down a little, as much as was reasonable at the time, they all suited up, and with the return of Thor, soaking from the rain he had generated and seething with anger, they took the Quinjet- which since the Manhattan incident, Tony had taken over as his own and revamped completely- and flew to SHIELD headquarters. 

As they touched down outside the dark complex, the Avengers disembarked with clenched jaws and apathy in their eyes. 

if SHIELD had hurt Loki already....

Steve predicted that even he wouldn't feel much mercy towards SHIELD agents then. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki shook as he was thrown to the floor, the bag wrenched from his head, the rough hand pulling some of his hair out in the process. He bit down a whimper as the men surrounded him, each with their own evil smirk fixed on their face, a few of them going so far as to crack their knuckles in preparation. Loki felt inside himself for his magic, but knew it would do him no good here. He had such little control left over it right now, he would end up burning them all, himself included, should he try anything at this moment. He sighed slightly, resigning himself to showing as little distress as he could, for he would not give SHIELD the satisfaction. They had a right to be angry, he could admit that, after he had destroyed their precious city, but they knew nothing of what he had already been through, the torments he had faced. He felt he was about to be punished for his crimes all over again, and it riled him. 

He looked to the clear leader of the group, staring down upon him menacingly, and rolled his eyes in a very clear gesture of impatience. The conveyed message was obvious. _Oh do get on with it, pathetic mortals. I have better things to do than wait for you to garner the courage to kill me._

And then they started. 

Fists fell on him, and legs lashed out to kick him in the stomach, the face, the back, all over his fragile body. He bit his lip when one foot caught him right in the centre of his injured shoulder, and again when a different foot hit the same spot. Then came the burns. The men left the room and bought back with them burning rods of iron, pressing them into his flesh and cackling as they watched him writhe with each application. That phase didn't last long, but it felt like a millennia to Loki. The next part was the worst, as they stripped him of his clothes, right down to his bare flesh, and each man did something different. Some wanted to carve out messages in his ivory skin with the blades of their knives. That, he could withstand with ease. Pathetic mortals. Others gave him the water treatment, slightly less bearable. Loki gasped for breath as his head and entire body was shoved repeatedly into a giant bath of ice water. Shivers racked his frame as he lay naked on the floor, once the captors had had their fill. 

The leader took it too far. 

Loki froze in fear, his breath catching in sobs as he felt the large man pressing against him, heard the zipper on his trousers being pulled down. He struggled, lashing out, kicking and punching, tiny whimpers escaping him. He was stopped by the mans calloused hand on his throat, squeezing tightly until spots burst in his vision, the pain unbearable and the oxygen deprivation already bought on by the water treatment catching up to him. 

"Please..Please don't." 

Loki's eyes were wide with fear, his breath coming in rapid gasps. This was how far he had fallen, to beg his tormentors to leave him be, he had had enough, he couldn't stop them by himself without worse consequences, and no-one was there to rescue him. He was all alone. 

"How many people begged to be saved when you fucked up Manhattan?" The man sneered, pushing Loki's head into the ground with a sickening crack that echoed through the silver room. "How many people do you think _died_ begging for your mer-" 

The mans words were cut off by the sounds of fighting behind the door. He stepped off of the Trickster God, brushing his hands on his shirt, and gestured the other men to follow him. Loki pushed himself up slowly from his position on the floor, wary of his broken bones and the nauseating spinning of his vision. He listened carefully though, to compensate for his lack in sight. The captors had opened the coded door, and found the fighting outside. Loki's eyes filled with tears as he heard the battle cry of his brother and the growling of the Hulk. They had come for him. They had come to _save_ him. He lifted his head sluggishly as footsteps approached him. Through his haze he saw the red, white and blue suit of the good Captain, and he smiled lopsidedly. 

Steve knelt down in front of the shaking God, taking in his tremor, the blood running down his face, how he held himself so delicately. He grimaced at the complexion that was paler than usual, the fine sheen of sweat on the Gods face, and the burn marks that littered him. The thing that concerned him most was the way Loki folded in on himself, the way he flinched away from Steve's touch again, and the way he smiled, but there was pain and fear deep in his eyes. Leaning down, Steve pulled Loki into his embrace, rubbing his back soothingly, tears building in his own eyes. They'd gotten so far with Loki already, he thought, but now he was more damaged than ever. His voice broke as he whispered gentle reassurances to the shaking God. 

"It's okay, we're here. We're here, you're safe, we're gonna take you home now, okay? Me, Thor, Tony and Bruce. We're going to take you home. They won't touch you again."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We take a deeper look into what Thor has been through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual Disclaimer applies :D

The flight back had been difficult, to say the least. Thor was clambering to get to his little brother, but Loki gave no response to his touch, nor that of anyone else. When they first took him from the compound, he had been acting weirdly normal, smiling and laughing although his eyes and the slightly manic tone to his voice gave him away. Bruce wasn't sure which concerned him more, the manic laughter or the catatonia that came after. 

"Loki, brother, look at me. Please." Thor was pleading, trying to turn the emerald eyes to his own. After climbing aboard the Quinjet, but not before trashing a few of SHIELDS more important research rooms, Loki had gone silent, responding only when someone leaned forward to place a hand on his shoulder. Soon after he had stopped responding at all, and it tore Thor apart to see. Steve and Bruce had silently cleaned some of his more obvious wounds, namely the ones on his face and arms, whilst Thor held his brother through his shaking, the only movement Loki had shown since departure. The Thunder God had let out a strangled whimper when he saw the word _monster_ carved into his brothers forearm. He thought of how often his brother called himself that, of how his brothers Jotun heritage had been revealed to him. The All-father had summoned him to the bifrost, sitting him on the rainbow bridge. He had spoken of the battle with the Frost Giants, and of the importance of gaining from war. He had then moved on to reassure him, almost, that Loki's actions were not of his making, that Loki had always been vicious. Thor remembered how angry he had become that their father would say such a thing about his brother, the brother he was mourning for. Then Odin had lost his temper. 

"But he is _not_ your brother, Thor, he is a Jotun runt, and you would do better to forget him. He was cruel, and jealous. You will grow as a person without him. You have no reason to mourn."

He had been shocked, but it had not outbalanced his disgust at his fathers words during his time of mourning. He had refused to speak to his father for weeks, until Midgard was threatened and he had travelled there. He did not know at the time he would be reunited with his brother once more. 

And now he was clutching that little brother like his last lifeline, afraid to let him go lest he be taken again. 

He was sure he looked like a true warrior in front of his comrades. 

Bruce straightened as they began to descend over the landing pad, preparing himself. He was the most medically trained in the group, Tony falling a close second. They would be in charge of patching Loki up again, and after last time, they were both a little anxious about it. The thought of how recently that last time had been made his stomach turn. Loki didn't deserve this, didn't deserve to keep being stolen away and broken. He may have been a bad guy once, but he was good, he had good intentions, he was intelligent and witty and kind most of the time. 

He hated that it had taken this for them to see how much help Loki had needed all along. 

As they landed, he pushed his glasses up onto his nose, rising before Thor had the chance, pulling Loki into his arms, squeezing his hand gently where it fell next to his own. Loki was one of them now, at least in their own minds, and they took care of their own. He carried the taller man through to his room, not the infirmary, but to Loki's own room, where he would be most comfortable. He hadn't been in there before, always respectful of the others mans privacy and his strong issues with personal space. He felt they needed to give the Trickster a safe space when he needed alone time. Looking around now he noted that it was brighter than he expected, still associating the God with darkness and evil, if only subconsciously. The walls were a warm green, gold accentiny certain features of the room. There were plush chairs in the corner, ordered in by Tony for Loki to sit and read his books in. That was one of the first personal things they ever realized about the thin man. Loki loved books. Loved them more than anything else they could offer him. He drank in the knowledge from them day after day when allowed to, a light smile pulling at his thin lips as he read. 

Bruce felt warm emotion pulling from within his chest as he thought of Loki happy, with his books. Now, he thought to himself, now I know how Thor feels. It's like having a baby brother to protect all the time. 

He gently laid his precious burden on the bed, unclasping the fastenings on his clothes, gently easing the material covering his top half from him as he rolled Loki to lay on his side so they could access his wounds from both sides. 

Displayed upon the Gods back was a myriad of vicious words, whip marks and small knife wounds, oozing blood, red and inflamed. Bruce felt green tinge his vision as he thought of those sick bastards doing this, laughing as they heard them from down the hall, approaching fast. Those cruel, vicious men had thought this was _fun._ A _sport_. Bruce started as Tony's hand was laid on his shoulder, his vision clearing immediately. He nodded to the frown on the others face, setting to work cleaning and bandaging. It was quiet, cheerless work, with little to distract them from the horrific sight that was their friends body. 

Unseen to them, Loki's eyes started to glow.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has a breakthrough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usual Disclaimers apply :D

He was lost. 

Lost in the darkness, lost in the depths of his own mind, swimming out across his memories, flashing past him at lightning speed, filling him with overwhelming feeling as he experienced each moment of his traumatic past before moving onto the next, no break between the blows. He flinched particularly violently when he witnessed his own abuse at the hands of his father and brother, when the thread was pulled taut as he screamed, tearing through his own flesh. His eyes filled with hatred and anger, barely hiding his fear as he froze, no longer feeling the detachment from the previous memories. This was real. This was too real. 

And then suddenly the stiffness lifted, and he was free again, his lips bursting open in a fond smile. He had been found by Steve. He was passing through the memories of his recent time with the Avengers. He saw the fond smiles they gave him, the caring attention, how they treated him like a friend, as though Manhattan never happened, he had never tried to destroy their little speck of the earth, let alone trying to do so from inside their own home. 

He saw his brother, holding him, crying over him, hugging him and brushing his hair back for him on his depressed days, holding him tight as he sobbed, wiping the tears away. Saw Bruce relentlessly checking over his wounds day after day, Steve making hot chocolate with the little marshmallows he loved so. He saw Tony in his workshop, flitting around as he spoke to Loki with no break in the flow, not that he ever minded. More recently he saw the widow and the hawk, less obvious in their kindness, but it was still there. The odd way the Hawk had of staying away but offering jokes at the expense of the others, playing tricks on them to keep him amused when he was down. The widow, keeping her distance, knowing he was uncomfortable around her and making sure not to polish her knives in his presence too often. And then they reached the most recent episode of his life, the pain flashed through his mind like hot pokers. He saw the memories through a film screen of shock, he felt the presence of the others on the jet, felt their care for him. 

They were loving, they were kind, they were caring. 

They were _friends_. 

They were a reason to live, to thrive, to _care_. 

And he was letting them down, and well, that just wouldn't do. He could be strong for them, he could overcome this because they wanted him to, and he wanted to make them proud of him. 

But he couldn't deny the anger he felt. The urge to burn, to shred, to tear the faces from his captors, to make them writhe and scream as they had made him. He wanted them to burn from the inside out, he wanted their bones turned to ash, he wanted them to plead for his mercy in tearing their skulls from their heads as he gutted them. He felt the magic build up in his body, felt himself moving back towards the ground, a more solid quality returning to his body as his magic sparked between his fingers. His eyes flew open, and suddenly he could _see_. If he could see, he could _burn_. 

"Loki?" Ah, the Avengers. He softened a little at the sound of Banners voice, but it wasn't enough. It shocked him, loosing his control. He was so _angry_. He sat up slowly, turning to face the younger man, whose face melded into a frown as he noticed the glowing of his eyes, his anger tearing at his control, tendrils of magic leaking out, forming green wisps behind him, creeping out towards the walls of the room in preparation. Bruce reached to put a hand on his shoulder. 

In hindsight, he probably should have realized that wasn't a good mood when the Gods magic was literally rolling off him in waves, an apathetic frown set in his lips. 

Loki screamed, a feral growl finishing the cry, and the room was torn apart. The tendrils of his magic shredded through the walls, the glass smashing, splinters flying through the room, Tony ducking to a side and Bruce raising his arms to shield his face. The strange wind picked up again, something they had come to associate with bursts of Loki's magic. The floor was scorched, the curtains set on fire, the metal of the far wall curled inward, leaving gaping holes to the next room. The fixtures of the room, the chairs, the tables, lifted to be suspended in air, flying around Loki's head, his eyes literally emitting green light as he threw them across 

The door opened -or not really opened as shoved aside in all its mangled glory, Tony mused- and Steve, Clint and Natasha burst into the room, freezing as they saw the state Loki was in. He was screaming something in Old Norse, not that they could understand him, and angry tears were streaming down his face. His arms were bleeding once more as he raked his long nails up and down them, scraping in his anxiety, the emotion getting to him. Thor reached the room at that moment, hammer in hand, probably thinking his brother was in danger of being kidnapped again. His eyes widened when he saw the situation, but he didn't freeze as the rest of them had. Instead he took a deep breath, reaching out his big, Norse arm to push them all back, a grim set to his lips. 

"Fear not, my friends, I have dealt with Loki in such a tantrum before. But you must stay back and be silent. He will not react well when he realizes you have seen him in such a state. He is not aggrieved with you, but his own mind has been hurting him, I fear. All will be well." 

Thor strode to the middle of the room, placing his hands over his brothers, pulling the nails from scratching his arms to prevent further damage. He held them to his chest, not flinching even slightly as the tendrils of Loki's emerald magic lashed out at him, opening gashes in his muscled biceps, or when it snatched at his hair, wrenching his head back. He gripped Loki, set like an anchor to the floor when the magic tugged at his ankles, trying to fling him off. He held and held until Loki was forced to snap his eyes to him, snarling out in the ancient language. Thor returned in kind, his face sad and his tone desperate. After only a little bit of rude prompting from Clint -"Uh, Thor buddy, you mind telling us what the fuck Loco Loki is saying?"- Thor was kind enough to translate the argument into the foreign tongue of English. 

"Let go of me, brother, I have been hurt enough by you, by everyone, and now you must all be punished. You have made me pathetic and weak, and I shan't stand for it." 

"Loki, brother, if you feel weak then your mind is mistaken, for you are stronger than any I know of. You are not weak, but you will be if you let this consume you so. I know I have hurt you, and my regret for that is deep, but I will not allow you to cause injury to others. Let us help you." 

"Enough! You all pretend, you all act as if you can bear to be around me, but I know it for the lie it is!" 

"There is no lie here, Loki. Brother please. The Avengers have come to love you as I do, and we wish to help. I will not pretend I am gladdened to hear you speak so freely, even if it is in anger." 

Here, the magic in the room fell to a halt, and Loki sat on the floor with a thump, cross legged with his head in his hands. His voice came out a pitiful whimper, still in his native tongue. 

"You can not help me." 

Thor shook his head, crouching to pull his brother to him, curling his arms protectively around the thin body, hands rubbing along the back, frowning as he realized he could feel each bone of the spine from beneath his clothes. 

"Please..let us try."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki isn't okay, that much is obvious, but can anyone get through to him? And has Tony messed everything up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! I quite like this one, but it took me forever to write because of some health issues and im useless at writing angry tony! I hope you guys like it! Quick heads up if there isnt one out by friday itll be a while til the next one because im going to america on holiday for two weeks! Tell me, how are all your lives going? Usual disclaimers apply btw :D

Loki wasn't okay, Bruce could tell. 

He might be acting like he was fine, like absolutely nothing was wrong, he was playing tricks on Thor like making his chair slide out from under him right before he sat down, and he painted Steve's shield pink, and he tried his best to speak, only if it was mainly in ancient Norse which Thor had to translate. The Thunder God seemed to think the more familiar tongue made Loki feel better and less frightened of talking, and well, they couldn't argue with what little comfort they could give. All in all Loki was putting up a very convincing front that everything since his second ordeal was just peachy. 

But there were little signs all over the place that showed the cracks in his dam. The tiniest little gestures like the way his hands shook first thing in the morning, the deep purple bags under his eyes from where he'd had very little sleep. The strained edge to his smile when he thought no-one was looking. The way he flinched at loud noises but tried to brush it off with more movement. The way he was so enthusiastic at meal times, but still only picked at his portions, already smaller than anyone else's, Bruce not wanting to overwhelm his system. 

The truth is it was worrying them all like crazy, even Clint and Natasha. 

"The guy barely sleeps and barely eats, it's driving Thor up the wall, dude looks like a freaking skeleton walking round the place, but he's so damn _chipper_ no-one wants to say anything about it!" Clint had raved one sunny afternoon, all of them gathered in the kitchen, apart from Loki and Thor that is, who were spending the afternoon on the patio in the jacuzzi, Loki braiding his brothers hair intricately, his shaking hands hidden in the golden locks. 

It was true, they'd all tried to confront Loki, tried to offer some form of comfort. For Steve it had been through sparring, offering a kind of outlet for the Trickster, but Loki had looked so distressed at the idea of fighting anyone that the offer had been quickly repealed. Bruce and Tony had tried to get the God invested in some of their work in the labs but Loki seemed to fear being in the way, hovering in the corners, only interacting by offering them drinks as though he were some sort of servant. 

Surprisingly enough, it was Natasha who had made the most progress. 

They were all a little tired and overwhelmed with the amount of battles they'd had to take part in recently, which Loki obviously wasn't able to come to just yet. Tony was ashamed to say he was probably the straw that broke the horses back, if he was being honest with himself. He'd had a hangover from a business party the previous night, and the headache was grating on his nerves and he couldn't _stand_ the disapproving looks the Captain kept sending him, so when he found Loki sitting on the couch humming gently to himself, something inside of him snapped. 

"And what are you so fucking happy about then? Happy you get to sit in here playing the pity card whilst you get to watch Earth's mightiest heroes go out every day and get beat up, taking in the view from the panoramic view I so loving provide you with? Or could it be that we're all treating you like a fucking delicate flower petal even though it doesn't seem like there's anything wrong? What the fuck is with that anyway, when people get tortured they're meant to be upset! Or maybe you just liked it, is that it?" 

"Tony-" Steve tried to cut across him, looking horrified, but Loki stepped in too quickly, Thor having to translate for them, leaning in because Loki's voice was still so quiet most of the time. 

"Don't worry Steve, I'm fine. It's fine." Despite his words his whole body was trembling slightly, but his face remained calm, a nervous smile tilting his lips as his eyes flashed to the Captain. 

"Yeah, _Steve_ , he's fine, because he _likes_ getting gang-fucked, he _likes_ them making him scream. Gives him all the attention Daddy never gave him because he was _worthless_." Tony chuckled, a vicious sound wrenching from his throat. A huge part of his brain was screaming at him for being so cruel, that he didn't mean any of it and what was he doing? 

Exploding. That was pretty much what he was doing. Exploding in one massive blast of dickheadedness. 

Loki had tears shining in his eyes, his nails biting into his arms where they crossed against his chest, holding himself together. He was fine. He could take the screaming. He could definitely, definitely take it. 

But that doesn't mean he wasn't grateful when it stopped. 

"Enough." Natasha had growled, her hand on her gun holster. "You've said your piece Tony, now go take a shower or drink yourself to death or something, just get out of here. Go." She hissed as he went to argue that it was his fucking house and he could go where he damn well pleased in it. However, that same inner voice was screaming at him to let it go and not dig his grave any deeper, especially when Nat used that voice. That voice meant danger. 

Loki had taken a seat at the edge of the couch, his eyes filled with unshed tears. Nevertheless he smiled up at her as she approached, whispering to her in the Old language. 

"I'm fine, I'm fine."

Natasha had pulled him to her chest, smoothing his hair with her delicate fingers as she spoke softly to him, in a gentler voice than most of the Avengers knew she possessed. 

"I know you are, I know. But you don't have to be, Loki. I'm here..I'm here. We're all here. Tony didn't mean it, trust me. He's just afraid because he's more worried about you than you know. He loves you, Loki, we all do. We're here, it's okay. We're not going anywhere, I promise." 

As the tears started falling, she didn't falter, shifting him so his head lay in her lap on top of an old cushion, a comfortable Afghan being produced by Bruce to lay over the weeping God. Natasha leant down, never stopping the movement of her hand through his hair, and crooned to him in soft Russian, songs her mother used to sing to her.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up and doesn't remember a thing. What will the other avengers say? What will loki say?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! but seriously, no more now for another two weeks, sorry :P hope you enjoy this though!

Tony woke to the persistent pounding in his head, feeling like he hadn't slept in about thirty years, groggy but alive. He pulled his robe on over his boxers and headed out the door, following the sounds of voices to the kitchen. It was late, he knew, but it seemed almost everyone was still up. The only ones missing were Thor and Loki, it seemed. 

"Hey guys, what's going on?" He strode through the room, pulling up a chair at the centre island, pouring himself a large mug of coffee. He inhaled the revitalising scent, cupping his hands round the beverage for warmth. It took him about two minutes to realize that everyone had fallen silent to stare at him, all displaying different emotions. Natasha looked livid, as did Steve. Bruce looked like he was barely reigning it in, the battle between his two sides raging in his mind. Clint looked _disappointed_.

"Okay, what did I do?" 

"You don't remember?" Natasha's tone was harsh, her eyes narrowed into tiny slits as she leant forward in her, looking unnervingly like a lioness stalking her prey. 

Tony was confused. The last thing he actually remembered was walking through the rooftop door, exhaustion getting the better of him, enveloping his mind in a cloud of forgetfulness. He'd been so tired....had he done something really awful?

"I don't remember a thing, why? Did I hit somebody? Hit _on_ somebody?" He looked around at the pursed lips of his team-mates, all looking none too keen to tell him of his transgressions. He rolled his eyes at them all, trying to hid the panic settling in his mind. "JARVIS, give me playback of whatever happened earlier, now." 

_Yes Sir_ , his faithful AI chimed, a large screen flickering into existence before their very eyes. Tony watched in horror at his outburst, clenching his coffee cup so hard his knuckles went white when he saw the way Loki was holding himself, so unsure of his place. He watched through to when Loki had been carried back to his room by his brother, having had to be pried from Natasha as he gripped her slender hands tight in his sleep. He ordered JARVIS to turn the screen off, his face pale and eyes wide. 

_Shit_.

He had to swallow down a little vomit from the back of his throat as his own vicious words echoed in his head. Where had this spite come from? He searched his mind, finding not even a hint of regret over helping Loki or letting him stay with them, so why on earth would he say that? 

He had to apologize. 

Now.

"Where is he?" Tony pushed out of his seat, startling as Natasha grabbed his shoulder, her grip crushing against his bone. She scowled, searching his eyes with her own. 

"If you hurt him again, I will kill you in the most imaginative way possible. You've gone far enough. Some of what you said I wouldn't say to _anyone_. How _dare_ you!" 

By this point she was screaming, her hands balled into fists in his shirt, pulling him closer to her face. If he was being really honest, Tony was already a little scared of Natasha, but now he feared for his life. 

"I know! I know. I don't know why I said it and I'm absolutely disgusted with myself and I kinda want to bathe in vodka right now to forget I ever said that, but I can't. That's what got me into this, that's not what's going to get me out of it. I'll make things right, I swear." He felt tears welling in the corners of his eyes and looked down halfway through his words, in shame. Natasha scowled at him, pushing him back into his chair, releasing him from her hold. 

"You had better." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Brother, Stark did not mean his words, you must know this." Thor sighed in anxiety as his brother lay curled up in a foetal position as he wept on his pillow, trying to hide his silent tears from his adoptive brother. Loki hadn't said a word since Natasha had soothed him to sleep, and his anxious ticks were more evident than ever. He had managed to unravel the embroidery on one of his tunics where his nimble fingers had been picking at the stitching, his fingers bled where he had been biting at the skin around the nails, and his arms were coated in the crescent moon shapes of his nails from where he had been digging them in, rubbed red as he tried to get the marks to fade faster. 

Loki merely sniffled, turning his face further into his pillow as Thor rubbed his back soothingly. He was so tired of being a burden to everyone, and of feeling betrayed. He had come to trust the avengers, particularly Stark, Banner and Rogers, and now one of his three favourite people in the world had admitted that he thought him a burden, an irritant, an enemy still. #

It hurt, badly.

There came a knock at the door and Loki cringed internally. He did not want anyone to see him in such a state. They would only see him as more of a burden, more irritating than they did already, less worthy of their time. 

They wouldn't want to be his friends any more. None of them. 

Nevertheless, Loki stilled himself, giving no reaction as Thor rose to answer the persistent knocking that rang through the room. 

The door swung open and Tony flinched a little as Thor's face darkened and Thunder rolled beyond the windows. The thunder God stepped into the hall, closing the door behind him without acknowledging who was at the door. Tony sighed, realizing Thor was probably trying not to freak Loki out by announcing it was him.

"I am most displeased with you right now, friend Stark. I am unsure as to whether I should be addressing you as friend at all." 

Tony ran a hand through his hair. These Gods were giving him grey hairs. 

"I know, buddy, I'm pretty disgusted by myself right now. But I'm willing to do anything to make it right, anything. I didn't mean it, I swear. Please, Thor, help me make it right. Please." 

Thor stared deeply at him for a few moments, searching his face for insincerity. Tony tried to let his sincerity show in his face; he figured Thor would be pretty practised at this, living with the God of Lies for so long. 

He almost sagged with relief when Thor sighed, nodding disappointedly, and pushed the door open quietly. Tony stepped in apprehensively. 

Could he ever make this right?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kind of a little filler really to get to where i wanted to be, but basically Steve, Tony and Thor try their hand at making Loki feel better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I WROTE SOMETHING I ACTUALLY DID :D though its not that long...:/ sorry i kept you waiting so long, i hope you like :D i own nothing

Tony had expected Thor to leave him to it, but he wasn't really surprised when the door shut with the Thunder God still in the room, his withering gaze fixed on Tony as he crossed the floor, taking the seat next to the bed. He shifted uncomfortably as Loki shifted, sniffling into his pillow, clearly uncomfortable knowing who was in the room with him, besides his ever present brother. 

"You don't have to say anything." Loki choked out, Thor quietly translating as he brushed circles on his brothers hand with his thumb. "You have a right to make your opinion known in your own home. I should not intrude upon you." 

Tony felt shame well up inside him, forming a lump in his throat. When he spoke his voice was a slightly higher pitch than he was used to, and he had to clear it several times before he continued. 

"Lokes...I shouldn't have said that, it wasn't true. Honestly, it wasn't. Just sometimes...when I get tired and grumpy I know exactly how to hurt people. Heh, ask Pepper, she could tell you that one. I swear, I didn't mean it."

By this point Tony was carding his fingers gently through Loki's hair, satisfied that the God hadn't flinched away when he began, and seemed to be soothed by the repetitive motion, his crying quieted. The Tricksters hand found his own, giving a short squeeze as his eyes drifted shut, giving way to sleep. Tony rose after a moment, pulling the covers up to cover the sleeping deity, understanding he was forgiven, but Loki would need a little time to be comfortable with him again. He closed his eyes as the harsh reality of what he had said settled over him, and vowed that he would make it up to him, however he could. He would see Loki whole again. 

No matter what it took. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Loki, you okay?" Steve approached slowly, noticing the glazed over look on the Tricksters face, and not wanting to startle him. Loki blinked thrice, but didn't turn to look towards him, his gaze fixed on the counter top as he sat on a stool in front of it, picking at his fingers. Steve didn't really expect an answer, and so was surprised to hear Loki speak, even more so to hear him speak in English. 

"I could not sleep." Steve nodded sympathetically. They all knew Loki had nightmares, they all heard when he awoke in the middle of the night, screaming, pleading with his captors to leave him be, to let him go. They never mentioned it, but they all knew it happened. 

"Want some pancakes?" If they were both going to be up, he was at least going to take the opportunity to possibly get some food in Loki. He was far too thin, almost waif-like, and it bothered him, and Bruce even more so, and whilst Loki would rarely eat much, they'd found he had a propensity for sweeter foods, and used this to their advantage. Loki nodded, and Steve felt a great surge of satisfaction. Tony could tease him all he wanted for being a bit of a mother hen, but he couldn't really help it when it came to Loki, none of them could. When someone you once saw as a proud warrior, albeit fighting for the opposing side, is reduced to this level of fear and submission, it awakens a protective surge, though they all had different reasons for it. Tony couldn't bear seeing someone going through the same sort of thing as he did in Afghanistan, Bruce was a Doctor, Steve knew what it felt like to feel small and helpless. Thor just wanted to protect his little brother. 

Speaking of which...

"Brother! You are awake late in this fine day, could you not sleep?" Thor asked, his tone ranging from joyful to see his younger sibling, to concerned at his lack of rest. Loki never slept particularly well, and so the thought of him losing any of his precious sleeping hours was saddening to the Thunder God. 

Loki shook his head quietly, and despite his wary eyes, which he viewed all intruders into his personal space with, as Thor sat in the chair beside him he found himself gravitating towards the friendly, warm body, away from the less familiar visage that was Steve. Thor chuckled, throwing his arm round his little brothers shoulder and pulling him in tight. He rubbed his arms swiftly up and down Loki's arms and sides, in a desperate attempt to warm his freezing skin a little, to bring him some comfort. He turned to the Captain, grinning broadly. 

"Friend Steve, have we much on the agenda for the day?" He boomed, making Loki wince a little at the volume. 

Steve shook his head, smiling fondly. "Nope, nothing really today, unless an emergency comes up. Why? Got something in mind?" Steve could just about see the inkling of an idea forming in the Thunder Gods eyes. 

"I was wondering if Loki might wish to join us in sparring today, that is all" Thor clapped a hand on the Tricksters shoulder. 

Loki froze. Spar? As in potentially injure, or be potentially injured by someone? Could he handle that? He shook his head swiftly, his eyes wide, taking a large gulp. He didn't want to be hurt, but he didn't want to hurt anyone else either. He had has magic to defend him, but he knew when cornered, he would strike out in fear after...recent events. He would not be able to contain himself. Plus, he had grown...fond of the avengers, try as he might to deny it, particularly Steve, Tony and Bruce. They had been his constant companions and comfort through the trials he was facing, and he couldn't risk losing them because he lost his composure. 

It wasn't worth it. 

As though reading his mind, Steve leant forward over the counter, reaching out to grip Loki's freezing hands. He looked into the emerald green irises. 

"Loki, we're not going to hurt you, it's just a little rough-housing. And you won't hurt us either, but if you do, it's okay, it's not your fault. You've been through a tough time lately" Loki scoffed a little at that, holding back the stinging in the back of his eyes that told him tears were threatening to spill forth "and it would e completely understandable. It's just a little fun. Would you do us the honour of joining us?" 

Loki sighed, nodding his head forward resignedly. He could try.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparring occurs. Does Loki have a meltdown?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM. TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE NIGHT :D hope you guys enjoy this because i really enjoyed writing this one :D I own nothing

Loki followed the two blonde avengers through to the training room. The walls were lined with various weapons and equipment, which explained why the security on the door was so tight. Steve had had to enter a code and have his retinas scanned before JARVIS would permit him entrance. Axes hung from a beam across the ceiling, arrows were laying around in various places, Steve's shield and uniform was also in this room. Of course, Thor carried Mjolnir with him a majority of the time, but Loki's eyes were drawn to the glistening throwing knives and one artfully crafted spear in a stand in the corner. This was where his few talents lie in the battlefield. That, and his magic, made him feel strong. 

A light smile graced his pale face. _Strong_. He hadn't felt that in a while and he cherished the opportunity to feel it again. Whilst most of him still rebelled against the idea of fighting, a small part of him was thrilled to have been offered a chance. He sorely needed a chance to vent his frustrations, and he was being handed one on a silver platter, which, he was relatively sure, was why Thor was giving him such a chance. 

"Okay, we're going to start off simple, one on one, me against you Loki, and Thor can practice in the target range whilst we hash it out, or he can watch. Is that okay with everyone?" He grinned jovially as they nodded their assent. Thor moved to the side, taking a seat to watch his brother fight, although he pretended to be polishing Mjolnir in order to soothe his brother, who would probably feel he was watching to criticize. He wasn't, but he knew Loki would feel that way, instead of seeing that Thor was just trying to keep him _safe_.

The Captain and Loki climbed into the arena, the Captain in a white shirt and sweatpants, raising his shield as Loki let magic flow from his fingertips and surround his body, changing his night clothes to his Asgardian armour, summoning as he did the spear to his hands, as the fighting was too close range for the knives. 

The battle was very interesting to watch, especially since Thor knew the two men very well, and was curious to see their fighting styles when he actually had a chance to think about why they chose their method. Steve moved boldly, with the confidence of one who knows their own strength and is prepared to use it. Loki, however, moved like a lioness stalking her prey, always on his guard, his shields up to the maximum. Magic crackled around him as he prepared himself to use his endless source of trickery. Steve lunged first, swinging his shield round in an attempt to meet Loki's shoulder, but the Trickster used this to his advantage, using the shield and Steve's strength to push himself up as he swung a kick towards the Captains head. Steve was knocked backwards, but swept Loki's feet from beneath him, causing him to fall on his back as well. Loki growled, jumping to his feet and using the spear to hold Steve crouched on the ground, fighting against the God's strength. He gripped the spear, using it to roll Loki over his back when he refused to relinquish his hold on the weapon. Loki lay on his back on the floor for a split second before Steve was on top of him, rolling him over to hold his hands behind his back as he lay there, not noticing the effect his restraint was having on the slighter Asgardian. 

Loki's head was spinning, memories of being forced to the ground and held there as he awaited his fate coming back to him in vivid bursts. He felt the anger and fear rise up inside him. He felt part of his mind screaming for him to stop, that he knew this would happen, but he couldn't stop. He was like a feral tiger cornered at the edge of a cage. He was out of control. 

" _Get off of me!_ " he shrieked, green light shooting from his palms, blasting Steve from him, where he hit the wall and fell to the floor, dazed. He stood quickly, his shield held before him, as he looked back over at the God, seething with anger, magic rolling off of him in waves, eyes wild and panicked. Thor reached out to touch his brothers arm despite Steve shaking his head that _no,_ that's probably not a good idea. 

He was wrong it seemed. As soon as Thor made contact with his brother, the Trickster snapped out of his uncontrolled, dazed state, his eyes showing only confusion. As his gaze met Steve's however, clarity dawned, and the Trickster rushed forward, lifting his arms and pulling off his helmet to check for injuries he may have sustained. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Steve, I'm so sorry, I'm a monster and a fool to think I could do this without hurting someone. I'm so so so sorry." Loki's ramblings and professions of guilt got gradually faster, until Steve lay a warm hand on his thin shoulder, taking note that some feeding up was still in order. 

"Loki. What did I say earlier? It's fine. It's okay for you to still be scared, and even more so for you to be angry. Some terrible things happened to you, and _I'm_ sorry, because I obviously triggered some sort of flashback. You have nothing to apologize for. I promise. Plus, it's nothing more than a few bruises anyway." 

Loki straightened at that, brushing the errant strands of his hair back. "No. No bruises." He stated, reaching out to grab Steve's arm. Steve felt a strange tingling warmth move through him and tried not to shudder at it. As it moved through his body, he felt his aches and pains lifting as though the incident had never occurred. It was wonderful, and left him feeling more lively than he had in a while. He smiled at the God, nodding his head in thanks. 

Suddenly, the alarm sounded, signalling some major villain activity was going on in the city that they needed to be called in for. Steve rushed to grab his shield and change into his uniform, but as Thor stood, the two Avengers shared a glance between them, not really knowing what to do about Loki. Luckily they were saved from the decision by Tony appearing in the doorway, Iron Man suit already crawling up his arms and legs. 

"Ready to go people? Hey, Reindeer Games, hows it going?" And then Tony asked the question that had Loki's jaw almost hitting the level beneath them, and Thor beaming brighter than the sun. 

"Up to being an honorary Avenger for the day?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki goes out to battle with the Avengers. Will he be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so i'm being really good at updating recently, it wont last, trust me. But i got my dream uni offer tonight so i thought id celebrate by sharing this with all of you :D I own nothing :D

"C-come with you? And fight? But what about your leader, the angry one? And his organisation? What about your people, they will be greatly angered to see me I can imagine, especially seeing the one who tried to destroy their realm fighting along side their most trusted heroes. I cannot, it would not do well for your team." 

Tony strode forward into the room, iron boots clunking against the wooden floor with each step, causing small vibrations to shoot through Loki's legs. He placed one hand on each of Loki's shoulders, trying not to sigh at the fear he still saw in the God's eyes. 

"Hey. It's okay if you're not ready, I know its kind of soon and you're still scared. I understand that, I really do, but if you feel up to it, don't let our reputation stop you. We like you, Loki, all of us, and we'd love to have you fight with us. And as for the public, well, they're just gonna have to deal with it I'm afraid." He smirked as he finished, jostling Loki in his good humour. The God gave a tentative smile, wringing his hands with nerves. However, at the encouragement of his brother and Steve, paired with Tony's words, he managed to persuade himself that perhaps this exposure would be good for him, help him to overcome his fears. It was possible, he thought. 

He decided to travel with the majority of the Avengers in the Quinjet, deciding he would not like to be first at the scene of the mayhem in case his presence was misconstrued to be helping the offender. He tried not to think about who had informed the team of superheroes about the proposed threat, turning his mind as far away from the man with an eye patch and his organisation as he could. It made bile rise up in his throat to think that he was actually aiding their cause, following their orders, if indirectly. To him, he was here to help the few people that had been willing to befriend him in his long, lonely existence. 

He startles as Banner lay a hand over his shaking ones, which he hadn't noticed until now. The doctor peered close into his eyes, as if he was looking straight into his soul. 

"You'll be fine. We're all here to protect you, plus, you're an amazingly skilled fighter, Loki. And if at any point it's too much, just let something know through this-" he clipped a communication device to Loki's ear, which would allow him to both speak to and hear the Avengers during the oncoming battle, "-and then go if you need to. Get back to the tower, and we'll meet you back there. There's no shame in admitting you need help, or more time. And if it's us you're worried about, don't worry, we already know you're a badass." Bruce coined one of Tony's more commonly used nicknames for Loki, the "badass". Loki suspected it was to make him feel more confident in himself, and to tell the truth, it worked a little more every time. His magic was something he _was_ confident in, and no-one could take that away from him. They hadn't broken him, and they never would.

Loki smiled gratefully at the shorter scientist, finding himself calmed by his presence, ironic as that might sound. His moment of peace was interrupted by Natasha's collected tones. 

"Over the landing site. Looks like Doom again, bots everywhere. Annoying, but not too threatening. You'll like this Loki, this guy fancies himself a sorcerer." 

Clint scoffed. "Looks a bit like a kids magician in comparison to Loki, doesn't he Nat?" He chuckled. "Alright guys, let's move." 

Loki stood, ignoring the trembling in his knees that gave away his own nerves even to himself. He took a deep breath before they stepped out of the jet into the mayhem. Silver machinations were flying around everywhere, pulling at buildings and overturning cars, threatening the civilian population, Loki supposed. And there, at the end of the street they had landed on, appeared to be the orchestrator of this merry band of mercenaries. A man who wore a metal faceplate and green cloak, with a regal air about him. His hands were glowing a faint green, and Loki smirked. The mans magic was weak. Child's play indeed.

He strode forward, ignoring the battles going on around him, a confidence and pride he had not felt in a while filling him from his head to his toes. He let magic burst forth from his own hands, the light blinding. The masked man looked to him then, and though he could not see his face beneath the mask, Loki could read his fear in the slight shuffling backwards he appeared to be doing, and the way Loki could sense him desperately trying to summon more power to his palms. He stepped forward until he was closer to the man than he could feel comfortable with, but he did not let this show. Confidence in his magic or not, this was a stranger, not one of the Avengers he so cared for. He was still afraid of them, let alone this mad man. Despite his fears, he pulled himself to look straight into the eye slits in the metal mask, his smirk pulling at his cheeks yet again as he spoke. 

"Now, now, someone _has_ been messing where they shouldn't." He tutted as he made a slow circle around the villain, doing his best not to flinch when the man raised his hands threateningly. In response he merely increased the glow of his own, asserting his dominance. "Do you think yourself clever, dabbling in an art you have no business practising? Did you actually think you might be _good_ at it?" His smirk dropped then, as his words turned more vicious. He let his own anger, his own hurts, flow into his actions, using this as a relaxation exercise, and an effective one at that. "You are a _weak, pathetic_ , mortal!" He spat, tearing the metal mask from the villains face, pulsing magic into the mortals body. The man gasped and sputtered, sinking to his knees. He tried desperately to grasp at Loki's leg, pulsing what little power he had through his own palms. Loki laughed darkly, kicking him aside. He bound the man in enchanted ropes, ones that would burn like hot acid when he moved, but leave not a mark on the flesh, and tore his power from him with a turn of his hand. Mortals, he thought, could not be trusted with such power, and as a God, he felt he had a right to take it from them. He turned, leaving the whimpering villain, or supposed-villain he thought, laying in the street, as the Avengers looked on in awe at the display of power Loki had shown. Whilst it was true Doom wasn't number one on their threat list, his magic was always the most difficult obstacle to overcome, and Loki had just taken it? Just like that?

Loki, oblivious to his team mates surprise, merely turned to face the nearest group of bots, freezing them with a spell, twisting his hands as he watched the metal warp under the force of his magic, until the bots were no more than a pile on the floor. He set about destroying the next group, hearing the other Avengers joining the fray, until there was just one bot left fighting. Loki sliced its head clean off with the spear he had liberated from the training room, slicing through the rest of the body also, just in case. He turned to his temporary team-mates, breathing hard with adrenaline. Their eyes were wide once again, and they were watching him as though he had performed some great feat. It made him slightly uncomfortable. 

"What?" He asked, feeling a little self-conscious now that they were all _staring_ at him. Tony coughed, clearing his dry throat from where his mouth had fallen open. 

"Feel better?" he asked, disbelief clear in his voice, a shocked laugh gracing his features. Loki smiled, assessing his own state before he answered, moving to close the distance between himself and his team-mates. The anger had bled out of him during the battle, helping him clear his head. 

"Much." He answered, smiling in response to Thor, who beamed again. Tony laughed, normally this time. 

"Great!" He spoke, a mischievous tone to his voice. Loki quirked an eyebrow in anticipation of what the billionaire would say next. 

"AVENGERS AFTER PARTY!!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AVENGERS AFTER PARTY!! But it cant all be happy can it? Will Tony make a dire mistake in terms of Loki?

"After party?" Loki stuttered, turning helplessly to his brother as Tony threw an arm round his shoulders, pulling him in the direction of the Quinjet. 

Thor laughed, a wide smile stretching from ear to ear as he wiped his face of the remnants of battle. "Aye brother! We shall eat, drink, and regale stories with our comrades! It shall be a joyous occasion, especially now you have joined us in battle!"

Loki could only shudder, thinking of what raucous activity the two hearty men were planning to drag him in to. 

The closer they got to the tower, the more continuous the shuddering became, Loki trying desperately to suppress it. He had just gone into battle, for Norns sake, surely he could face a party with the Avengers, couldn't he? 

Yes, he could, he decided. Or he must try, for them. They should not have to spend their time worrying about him, they deserved to take some joy whilst in his presence. 

Bruce watched Loki carefully, judging his every facial expression. He himself wasn't much for parties, so he could imagine what Loki must have been feeling when Tony had almost ambushed him after the defeat of Doom. The God looked like he was trying for all he was worth to look as excited as a child at Christmas, but the dread in his eyes betrayed him. Bruce knew Loki still felt like an intruder in their merry band of unbalanced superheroes, and though he tried, couldn't think how to dissuade him from that notion. Truth be told, Loki's presence seemed to be bringing them all together as more of a team, if anything. Thor was, of course, far happier what with the presence of his sibling all the time, and Tony was grating on everyone’s nerves just a little less because Loki could keep up with his sarcasm when he recognized it as such as opposed to a stinging barb. Bruce smiled as he though about Steve and how Loki seemed to be providing an outlet for his mother hen nature, letting him soothe him after flashbacks and when Tony said something that wasn't as funny as it was spiteful. 

All in all, he'd say they were doing quite well. 

After what felt like an eternity of wandering in his own thoughts and gnawing at his bottom lip, the Quinjet touched down in the tower, music already blaring through the structure at Tony's command as soon as they had entered range of the abode. Loki shuffled from the vehicle behind his brother, feeling the magic wash over him as he shifted into more comfortable clothes and out of his battle regalia. He could practically hear Tony's teeth click as they always did when he practiced magic, the only tell at his frustration over the inability to understand the workings of such a feat. Loki smirked, just a little. 

The Avengers settled rather quickly into relaxation mode, the music pumping and drinks being poured steadily. Loki made sure to steer well clear of his brother after the first half an hour, knowing that whilst Thor may be completely sober, he would quickly get into the party spirit and answer any and all questions about the various myths about them that he was presented with. Instead he took to wandering the room slowly, changing positions to talk with each of his comrades when they were at their least intimidating to him, namely whilst they were still sober. This left him in the presence of the Captain and Bruce for most of the evening, a position he did not dispute. The captain was always calm around him, almost a soothing presence, and Banner had a smooth calculating nature, which Loki always found refreshing despite their rocky past. It was almost, dare he say it, enjoyable. 

Of course, he couldn't avoid the drunkards all evening. Something was bound to go wrong at some point, and it was highly likely to be Tony who would start it off.

As the Captain rose from the leather couch to pour himself another equally as ineffective drink, none other than Iron Man himself plonked bonelessly down on the couch beside him, uncomfortably close whilst obviously not of could mind. Loki squirmed covertly, moving a tiny portion away. 

"So....you did real good today Lokiiiiiiiiee" The philanthropist stretched the word, tailing off into the whining tendencies of a child. Loki rolled his eyes, his eyes scanning the room for someone who he could escape to talk with. Unfortunately, Tony wasn't done.

"You did really good...but I think you can do better. Think you need a little stress relief Lokes." With this he put a hand on Loki's thigh, squeezing gently as he moved his hand further up. Loki began to sweat nervously, his inner voice screaming at him. 

_I told you they all wanted something from you. Even him._

Loki closed his eyes, clenching his teeth. That wasn't true. Stark was just drunk, that's all. He didn't know what he was doing. Sex was just what he expected at a party. 

"Oh come on Reindeer Games, lighten up, I can invite Steve to join us if you want?" He shouted over the music, voice slurring due to the alcohol. Loki wrenched himself from his grasp, headed for the exit. He was stopped, however, by Tony yanking harshly on his arm, an irritable look on his face. It was at this point that the song changed, the silence lasting long enough for the Avengers not present in the conversation to become aware of it due to the sharp slap Tony was dealt, leaving him sprawled on the couch in his shock, everyone catching the sight of Loki stalking off into the upper levels. 

"Prude!" Tony called after him, a drunken smile playing on his face despite the altercation. He then noticed everyone looking at him, Steve most disappointedly. 

"What?" He growled, headed to the bar to pour himself another.

Meanwhile, in the often forgotten library, Loki wept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SO SO SO SO SO UNBELIEVABLY SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN SO LONG AND THIS ISNT EVEN THAT LONG D: its just exams and laptop troubles and job and everything, im so sorry all of you.  
> I hope you enjoy this, i hope i havent been too repetitive or written really badly, let me know if i have because its been a while okay?  
> ps. I own nothing.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to make it up to Loki. WIll Loki react well though, that is the question.

When Tony came to the following morning, he grimaced, knowing instantly that maybe last night he'd gone too far. His head was pounding worse than if a jackhammer had been taken to it, and that was even with the comforting shield of darkness around them. He popped a couple of aspirin and crawled out of bed, headed for the soothing refreshment of his morning shower despite his having woken at 2pm. It was still a morning shower, to him. 

Feeling a little less like a zombie and a little more ready to face the outside world, and after having dressed sluggishly, he pushed his way out of his room, following the ever present smell of coffee to the kitchen. He was surprised, given the time of day, to see Steve and Loki sitting at the island, talking in low voices. Usually when he woke at this hour, he was alone, and Steve particularly, he would expect to be in the Gym at this time. 

"Did someone call an emergency hen meeting that I wasn't informed of? Because if they did, I'm not sorry to interrupt." Tony grinned at the two older men as he brushed past them to fix his morning cup of wakefulness. "Enjoy the party last night, Loki?" 

Tony was confused to see Steve rise from his seat, a cold look in his bright blue eyes. His hands were clenched at his sides, whilst Loki seemed to be come very interested in the surface of the island, his cheeks burning red with..embarrassment? Why? 

"Out. Take your coffee and go, Tony." His tone was hard as steel, brooking no argument. 

Tony felt as if he'd been slapped. Cap was _never,_ that harsh with them, he was always the picture of calm, as much as it grated on his nerves. Actually...what? Raising a hand to his cheek subconsciously, Tony found his cheek feeling tender and bruised. _Had he been slapped?_ Maybe last night...Oh God. 

"What did I do?" He asked, stepping back to lean on the cupboards behind him. Steve’s eyes narrowed, obviously thinking he was trying to be funny.

"Tony, just don't, okay?" He sighed, his eyes flickering back towards the god of Mischief who had remained silent throughout the encounter. Tony gulped. If Loki was this quiet it could only be something to do with him. 

"No seriously, Steve, please, _what did I do?_ " Tony tried not to wince at the tone of desperation, but he couldn't help the rock hard feeling of dread in his stomach. 

Steve's face morphed from one of enlightenment, to sympathy, and finally settling on exasperation. "Loki, could you give us a minute?" He asked, laying a hand gently on the Tricksters back. The quiet deity rose from his seat, smiling softly at Steve as he nodded his compliance, before leaving the room without so much of a glance at Tony. 

"Sit down Tony. JARVIS, can you show us the video feed from last night please? When Tony had his little moment with Loki?"

Tony waited in anticipation as a screen appeared, showing the party in full swing. he noticed how drunken he seemed to be, and internally chided himself on going too far yet again with his drinking. He didn't intend to get so drunk, usually, he just couldn't seem to help himself, and it had been a while since he last held a party in the tower. His heart sank as he watched his own actions replaying on the screen. He was pretty sure his face was rapidly paling, particularly when he noticed the motions he was carrying out with his hands. Damn, he was so _stupid_. It was a wonder Thor hadn't sought him out yet to smash him into the ground! 

"Oh God." He felt sick. He felt physically sick, being faced with irrevocable proof of his own idiocy, and what he must have made the Trickster feel. 

Steve looked sympathetic once more, with just a glimpse of annoyance in his eyes. 

"In answer to your question Tony, that's what you did last night. You broke down any feeling of safety Loki had around you. Not that he blames you, of course not, he blames himself for having burdened you so much that you felt right to claim some sort of payment from him for our help!" 

Tony balked at the idea. "He doesn't blame me?" 

Steve shook his head sorrowfully. Tony could tell that whilst Loki might not blame him, Steve definitely did, and of course, he had right to. He had made such a mess of things.

Now he needed to fix it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tony approached the door to the library, feeling stupid for knocking, but doing so nonetheless. The least he could do was give the guy the right to turn him away. When there was no answer, he cautiously pushed the door open, scanning the room for other life forms, such as the Asgardian Prince he was looking for. 

"Loki?" 

"What do you want from me, Stark?" Tony flinched at the harsh yet quiet tone that accompanied the words, his head turning rapidly to face the chesterfield cluster near the fireplace of the room, finding his target there, setting a book in his lap, a small scrap of paper marking his page to prevent damage to the pages or binding. 

"I came to apologize actually" He tried not to twiddle his thumbs as he waited there, not wanting to move any close for fear of a cold reception. 

Loki stood swiftly and swept to a bookcase, returning the book to where he found it, where he would remove it from again later. "You have nothing to apologize for," he began, his words sounding just a little more nervous than moments before, a hysterical tone lying beneath, "You were perfectly within your rights to ask some sort of compensation for my presence in your home, you are not the first to have done so, nor, I am certain, shall you be the last." 

Tony shook his head, trying to keep up with the rapid fire succession of words coming from the Trickster, and trying not to hear the self loathing that accompanied them. 

"Loki..I don't need anything, or want anything from you in exchange for you staying here. I'm a bit of a playboy, everyone knows that, and I was drunk, and I didn't know what I was doing, I swear-"

"Drunkenness brings forth truth we would hide when our inhibitions are more intact, even I know that" Loki cut across him, scathingly. 

Tony raked a hand through his hair. This was more difficult than he thought it would be, but he supposed he deserved the difficulty it brought. 

"Let me make it up to you, Loki, please. I swear you can trust me, I double swear it." He was aware that last line sounded a bit like a teenager trying desperately to convince his mom of his innocence, but he kept at it nonetheless. "If I ever do something that stupid again, you can burn all my alcohol and invite Pepper over to kill me herself, okay? Come on, Cap's mad at me, Thor's probably mad at me, Bruce just gives me a look this morning, even Clint and Natasha gave me a funny look when I walked past, please let me make it up to someone!" 

Loki sighed, turning from his spot next to the bookshelf, half shrouded in the safe cover of darkness. His eyes glowed with his magic once more, and Tony suddenly felt afraid for his life, despite noticing how fearful Loki himself looked. 

"Very well, Tony Stark. You are forgiven as much as I can be expected to forgive. Now leave me be. Please. I feel I cannot withstand much more today, and if it is as you say, that you require nothing of me for staying in your tower, then you will not deny me the chance to release my magic in peace, in a room you rarely use, will you?" Despite the demand he presented, Tony was crestfallen to note how timid he still seemed. He nodded his assent to the request, turning for the door. 

He hadn't redeemed himself yet, but he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, a whole new chapter just the day after the last? I'm shocked too. Now the ending of thise one is a bit weird, I think, i didnt really like it all that much, but I promise this is leading somewhere. I think, anyway. Who can tell anymore.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy, I own nothing! :D


	20. Stitched Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension between Tony and Loki all comes to a head...

Gradually, things gained a sense of normality in the Avengers tower, Loki and Tony being the obvious exceptions. Loki was gradually regaining his confidence, but being around Tony after what was quickly becoming known as 'The Incident' made him noticeably uncomfortable, and Tony was at a loss for what to do about it. 

"You have to give him time" This insight came surprisingly from their resident female spy, Natasha of course. Tony scoffed. 

"Because you would know all about Loki wouldn't you?" Since his coming to the tower, Natasha and Loki had barely been seen in the same room as each other. Loki assured him he wasn't offended by it, they just needed their space, he assumed. 

Natasha rolled her eyes imperiously at him, her face a picture of derision. "I knew enough not to hit on a rape victim because I was drunk" She intoned spitefully. Tony felt a flush move up his face. She had a point there. 

Tony sighed. "What do I do? I asked Steve but he said to give him time too. I'm not a patient guy and I've scared away someone I thought of as a friend, Tasha."

They both had the sense to shut their mouths as Thor came walking into the lounge, blissfully ignorant as to the tension between his younger sibling and the owner of the tower he lived in. Not that it mattered. Thor had barely strolled into the room when Tony's attention was caught by JARVIS. 

"Sir, I do believe Mr Laufeyson requires your presence in the training room. He appears to be rather distressed with you."

Tony gulped, heaving himself from his chair with a fleeting glance at Natasha, hoping she could read the resigned message that lay within. 

_Looks like giving him time isn't an option, now doesn't it?_

She responds with a frustrated eye roll and gives him a shove on his way out of the door. 

He finds Loki, as conveyed through JARVIS, sitting on the floor of the training room, surrounded by debris. Tony froze in the doorway, wondering if Bruce had recently had an episode. His heart was hammering out of his chest and he knew in his stomach that his fellow scientist had nothing to do with the wreckage before him. 

"Why did you do it to me?" The question was whispered, reminding Tony bitterly of Loki when he first came to them, afraid to speak louder than that for fear of the repercussions. It hurt just a little -read: a lot- when he thought about how it was his actions which caused the tone. He turned his attention away from such thoughts, however, when he realized Loki was still talking. 

"Was it a trick? Pretend to care for me, earn my trust, and then do things to me? Did you drunkenly reveal your desires ahead of time?" By this point Loki's hands were shaking with barely restrained rage, his face betraying nothing but calm. 

"Loki-"

"IS THAT WHAT THIS WAS ABOUT?" Loki screamed, a wind seemingly conjured from nowhere whipping his hair around, the windows behind him shattering. Tony flinched as tiny shards of glass opened cuts in both their faces, seeming to affect him more than Loki, whose features were contorted into a look of loathing that seemed disjointed from the tear tracks that glistened on his ivory cheeks. 

The door behind Tony had slammed shut as the wind had picked up, and Tony could hear Steve and Thor banging on the door, calling through to him to apprise them of the situation. Tony couldn't find the words to describe it, and so stayed silent as Loki's destruction resumed. Eventually though, he had to end it, for the Gods sake if not his own. 

"Lok-Loki, listen to me, okay? I was drunk, and I was stupid, and I'm a complete and utter playboy idiot when I'm drunk, we all know that! It was nothing to do with what happened to you before, nothing at all, and it wasn't some nefarious scheme, do you really think I would do that to you? Do you really think any of the others would _let_ me do that to you? Steve? or Bruce? Or come on, Thor? Even Natasha was threatening to string me up by the balls after I did that to you, Clint replaced all the underwear in my closet with chastity belts!" The static in the air wavered, but didn't die. Tony was just relieved he had the Tricksters attention. 

"Look, Lokes, I know you've been hurt, and I know it's not easy trying to get past that, I'm not blaming you for that, I swear, but you have to realize by now that we will never ever purposefully hurt you. In _any_ way, okay? I swear on my suits. Heck, I'll swear on my life if that will help. You're our friend Loki, we just want you to feel safe here. I know I haven't really helped in that, but I promise I'll do better, okay? I promise." 

Tony was knocked back as he suddenly had his arms full of a sobbing mass of Norse God. They sank to the floor of the training room, Tony stroking through Loki's hair as he sobbed, more heavy breaths than tears at this point. Tony couldn't blame the guy for being overwhelmed, he guessed. He'd been through the wars recently, and he was more than entitled to a bit of PTSD from the ordeal. 

But as the magical pressure keeping the door closed abated and the other avengers piled into the room, only to lay eyes upon the sight before them and sink to the floor as one conjugal team hug, he knew Loki would recover from it. 

They had their pasts, each and every one of them, but they were a team, and together, they could overcome anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i know, i cant believe im ending it here but i genuinely just thought this was a good place to end it, im actually relatively pleased with it, and i will write an epilogue but ONLY IF YOU WANT ME TO.
> 
> and then i will be starting a NEW FIC :D and the best thing is I will be leaving the decisions up to you guys! is anyone else as excited as I am????
> 
> p.s I own nothing :D


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